#im fucking screaming if i have to look through one more WAGs comments and see someone being weird or see them being weird on here

[guentzel]

some of the nhl fandom need to address their misogyny, especially towards players' wives. im not saying you have to love them or adore them, but the way that some of you talk about them is downright disgusting. why is it when you love a certain player, you think its fine to make misogynistic comments to their wives or girlfriends or about them? "theyre controlling them" "they deserve better" "they--" you don't know them!!!!! your favorite athlete isnt going to pick you!!!!!

[captain-barnes-writes]

What is soft launch? (Carlos Sainz)

Part two

Summary: Max Verstappen’s ex girlfriend moves on with none other than Ferrari’s Carlos Sainz and they’ve managed to keep their relationship under wraps until now. | part three |

Type: insta au

Face claim: Cindy Kimberly

Pairing: Carlos Sainz x fem!reader x ex!Max Verstappen

Warning: fluff, salty max, romantic carlos hehe

———

Liked by YourUsername, LandoNorris, CharlesLeclerc and others

CarlosSainz55 best summer break yet 😉

comments

LandoNorris you included our golf date 😗

CarlosSainz55 date???

LandoNorris that’s exactly what I said 😑

DanielRicciardo and I wasn’t included in this date, why??? 🔪

LandoNorris we’re keeping it lowkey for now

Username my faves interacting 🥰

DanielRicciardo i spy with my little eye 👀

Comment liked by YourUsername and others

YourUsername 🌊

Comment liked by CarlosSainz55, DanielRicciardo and others

Username Ariana what are you doin here

Username Carlos & Y/N??🫢

Username she’s really homie hopping

Username it’s not even her 😐

——

CarlosSainz55 posted a story

replies

YourUsername I miss summer break & you♥️

CarlosSainz55 I miss you more amor, see you soon.

YourUsername almost bebé🤞

Username Best of luck!

Username How can somebody be so good looking😭

———

Liked by 15,786

Tagged: YourUsername

F1Wags Y/N was seen leaving Carlos Sainz home with not one, but two (!!) bouquets of flowers seemingly from the Spaniard. This comes after the two have been frequenting the same places recently. Y/N and Max Verstappen broke up more than 2 years ago and it’s the first time there’s been rumors of her being linked with anybody else since. In contrast, Max moved on to Kelly Piquet only a month after their breakup. Are we getting our favorite wag back? 🤔

comments

Username she’s got the rizz 😮‍💨

Username THE grid rizz

Username Am I the only one who really wants them to be a couple?

Username she couldn’t find someone else?

Username im on my knees

Username didn’t think we’d get Y/N as a wag again😍

Username imagine Max right now 🤣🤣

Username karma really came to bite him and I OOP😳

——

Liked by 20,458

F1Wags Y/N and Carlos Sainz were spotted kissing and getting cozy only a day after she was photographed leaving his home. We’ve got our favorite girl back, but now in Ferrari 🔴

comments

Username she really can’t leave the f1 drivers alone can she?

Username can you blame her?

Username if I looked like her I’d be through half the grid already 😮‍💨

Username she really waited so long, she deserves this

Username Max is screaming into his pillow rn 🫨

Username these races are gonna be so awkward 🫢

Username im shipping them already

Username not ashamed to say that’s my Ferrari girl!

———

MaxVerstappen1 posted a story

replies

Username 2 years later & you regret it just now?

Username the DRAMA

Username Max you’ve got your own family now?? What is this

Username after all this time & you’ve still kept your pictures with Y/N😨

Username sir have you forgotten you’ve got a girlfriend?

LandoNorris Take this down mate. I’m about to call you

MaxVerstappen1 This is so fucked up

LandoNorris she’s just moved on is all

MaxVerstappen1 but with Carlos out of all people?

MaxVerstappen1 deleted his story

——

Liked by 1,209,937

Tagged: YourUsername

CarlosSainz55 One whole year with you mi princesa 👸 I’m happy to have spent this last year just us two without being under the microscope of the whole world and though things are now different, I’m glad I get to experience this life with you. I love you ❤️‍🔥

comments

YourUsername Happy one year to us mi amor. Grateful for you always💕

CarlosSainz55 mi princesa

CharlesLeclerc happy for you guys!

Charlottesiine you guys are so great together❤️

Yourbff thanks for always filling her home with flowers, you really make her the happiest 🥹

LandoNorris what about carlando?

YourUsername he’s still yours too Lando!

LandoNorris I knew you’d still share him😏

Username new favorite duo

Username Max must be on the floor rn

Username ok but one whole year??

Username Max really unfollowed Carlos yikes 😶

MaxVerstappen1 has unfollowed CarlosSainz55

——

Liked by 700,689

Tagged CarlosSainz55

YourUsername hard launching on our one year❤️‍🔥 Grateful for you. I adore how you always show your love for me, we really give each other our all everyday no matter where in the world we are. I’m glad I get to experience this life with you (and Piñon!) I love you mi amor 🥰🥰

comments on this post have been limited

CarlosSainz55 I know what a soft and hard launch means now 😳 I love you mi princesa and so does piñon.

YourUsername with the amount of treats I give him he better love me 😶 te amo ♥️

Yourbff my favorites!

comment liked by YourUsername and CarlosSainz55

LandoNorris but carlando still lives on 😮‍💨

YourUsername I’ll never stand in the way 🫡

LandoNorris this is the hardest launch I’ve seen

CarlosSainz55 the smoothest 😈

TO BE CONTINUED

——————

I couldn’t wait to get this part out. I’ve come to really enjoy making these ☺️ hope you guys enjoy

[king-star]

When the Party’s Over

Warning: Homophobia, transphobia, death, bile, guts, broken limb, crying, pet neglection, driving while slightly tipsy, fire (lmk if i need to add more. This is all around pretty dark and sad, proceed with caution)

Match: Yelena Belova x enby!Reader; Wanda Maximoff x reader

Genre: Angst, Angst, and more Angst

A/N: This is the first chapter in a series. Idk how long it’ll be. the plan is bi weekly updates. im reallyyyyy proud of this one so let’s hope it doesn’t flop. ENJOY!

Word Count: ~3,000

Summary: You have a horrible nightmare, leaving you with anxiety for Yelena. Yelena assures you that everything is fine and leaves on a mission.

Your tongue rubs the roof of your mouth in an attempt to rid itself of the sickly sweet drink you’d been sipping. A hundred intoxicated humans swirl around you. Fabric, skin, and feathers blend together, the orchestra the only thing holding off the headache behind your eyes.

You didn’t want to be here. Sure ballroom charity balls could be fun. If you had your best friends there, you could chat only with them, and dance to your heart's content. Unfortunately for you, everyone you could stand to be around was busy. Leaving you human-shieldless from your mothers many socialite friends.

The “oh my goodness Y/N I haven’t seen you since you were in highschool. How are you?” got old quick. Retelling your life story over and over was a pain especially with your mother gripping your hand making sure you didn’t slip up. Share any information that didn’t quite fit the Y/L/N dynasty image. Mostly she didn’t want you sharing about the love of your life, your girlfriend, your Yelena.

When the two of you first got together you waited nearly 5 months before telling your mother. The first time you dated a girl she had hated it. She tried to act like she was supportive, claiming “I will always love you no matter what.” But in the end she always shielded this fact from the public eye. She was supportive of all the LGBT+ movements from a political standpoint. Never her own child.

You never told Yelena about this. You claimed the reason you didn’t want to share her with your mother was because you wanted your relationship to not have paparazzi after you two. She bought it for a while but you could only keep the love of your life away from the woman who gave you life for so long. It didn’t take a master spy to understand the emotions behind the look your mother gave you when you brought Yelena to dinner. Yelena never brought it up but it was an unspoken understanding. Your mother didn’t accept you no matter how hard she tried to fake it.

Now you just wanted the event to be over so you could go home to Yelena. You flipped your wrist, checking the ridiculously expensive watch you had on.

11:31

She was definitely asleep by now. Yelena never stayed up past 10:30. Frowning, you set down your glass and turned to your mother, waiting for her conversation to end. When she finally stopped speaking she turned to you and cocked an eyebrow,

“Y/N. Are you leaving? so soon?” she pouted but enough years in her home taught you her looks. This was faked sadness.

“Unfortunately yes mother. Lena is probably asleep by now and I have work early. She probably forgot to feed our dog,” you enunciated the words that might clue in your mothers friend on how you and this woman were related. A last “fuck you mother” before you left. She smiled warningly and nodded.

“Well… you must get home to your friend. I will see you soon daughter,” she kissed your hand and you stood there frozen. Of course, she would invalidate your gender and your relationship in one comment. Your nostrils flared and you turned quickly, letting your hand smack your unfinished drink into her lap and treading off quickly.

“Fuck you mother. How someone could be so hateful to their own child I will never understand,” you muttered to yourself. You handed your ticket to the valet and stood with your arms crossed, waiting. You made sure to tip the valet an absurd amount, and drove off quickly. The only thing that would keep you from doing something stupid in retaliation was Yelena’s arms around you.

~

Nearly thirty minutes later you pulled the car into the garage. It shouldn’t have taken you that long to get home but you couldn’t help but drive with the top down for a bit. Anger and maybe a bit of fear had bubbles underneath your skin and you didn’t want to bother Yelena. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.

Fanny met you at the door. She was obviously excited, tail wagging as she raced back to her food bowl

“ok ok girl. I’ve got you,” you rubbed her head and dumped a scoop of food into her bowl. Loosening your tie you dragged yourself to the bedroom. You smiled as the light poured in and illuminated the silhouette of a sleeping Yelena.

“Deep asleep. I’ll join you in a second,” you pulled the rest of your suit off. Picking up a discarded shirt you put it on, and leaned your head against the mirror.

“That was misery. And mother’s comment. I shouldn’t care about what that bitch thinks or says. But I can't help it,” you let out a sigh and picked up your toothbrush. Maybe someday she will accept you. But at that point would she ever be able to make up for how she treated you?

Ready for bed you slid in beside Yelena, careful not to wake her. Fanny, finished with her food, jumped into bed with you and snuggled up with a lick to your face. You smiled and kissed her head then kissed Yelena.

“night my love. See you in the morning,” your heavy lids drooped and you relaxed, setting a hand on Yelena and falling into dreamland.

~

Your thighs hurt. Fire and smoke burn your throat and eyes. You search for something. What exactly you aren’t sure. Tears stream down your face as anxiety floods your chest. If you don’t find the thing soon your world will be crushed.

A broken door, barely on its hinges, is at your right and you know that’s it. A hard turn and you smack your arm into the frame. You grasp at your wrist as more tears prick your eyes.

“Fuck!” A familiar level of pain flares and you know it’s broken. Your eyes dart around the room, still looking for that unknown thing. A pile of smoking wood sits in front of you and your feet carry you to it. This was it.

You try hard to pull through the heavy, hot wood with your one arm. A cry comes from below, an anxiety flaring familiar cry. You pull harder and uncover and dirty and bloody Yelena.

“LENA!” you shout and help her out. Her hands held her stomach. She smiles sickly and then curls in pain.

“Y/N. You found me. I hoped you would. Quick kiss me. I don’t have long,” Your eyes widen and you move her hands. The sight of her stomach makes you sick. Turning to the side you retch and vile spills from your mouth. You wipe your mouth and shake your head, tears fall hard now.

“Lena no no. You’re fine. We can fix you. Please,” you slide your arm under her and try to pick her up but she screams and goes limp in your arms.

“FUCK Y/N! stop. There's no hope. Please just kiss me. I don’t want to die without that.” you shake your head more and set her down. You refused to accept her death.

“No Yelena you are not going to die here. You can’t die. You are too well trained. a-and… I can't live without you. it’ll be fine,” She tries to raise her head but then it falls and she spasms. Your eyes widen and you do your best to hold her still but your broken wrist shoots in pain.

“No no no NO!” you kiss her over and over. Fear pulses through you and when she relaxes completely you sob. Your head aches from the pressure of your sobs and your broken wrist protests. Maybe hours pass and you sit there with her dead body pressed to your chest, her blood and guts smearing all over you.

Then guilt overtakes the sadness. She asked you for one thing. One single kiss before she died and you didn’t fulfill that. You couldn’t give her everything she deserved in life or even in her final moments.

You wake up shaking and screaming. Yelena is awake next to you, crying and shaking your shoulder violently.

“Please Y/N,” she sobs, snot and tears mix and fall forgotten. You sit up barely able to hold yourself up. She is alive.

“Fuck Yelena what’s wrong?” Your dream haunts you. You search her stomach and her whole body for major wounds. She is obviously unsure what you are doing and grabs your face forcing you to look at her.

“Y-you were shaking and screaming and crying and I didn’t know what was wrong. If you were having a seizure or what.” You shake your head and take deep breaths.

“No, I'm good. Not seizure. R-Really…” your words falter and you stare off, caught up in the memory of the dream. Yelena snaps in front of you and hugs your arm. “Ah sorry. Bad dream. really, really bad dream.” you stare at her head unsure if this was the dream or if Yelena really was alive.

“D-do you want to tell me about it?” Her arms slide under yours and she holds you from the side. You shake your head and lay it on her shoulder. “Ok but if you do tell me. I’ll hold you until you fall asleep again.”

The thought of being asleep again makes you tense up. Yelena feels it and rubs your side softly. She kisses you in every way she knows you like and pets your head.

“I’m not going to sleep. I can’t live through that again. It made me think I was going to be alone. Please don’t leave me Lena. please. I don’t wanna die alone.” She frowns and hugs you tight.

“I’m never going to leave you. I’m here baby. I’m here.” She kisses your jaw softly and you nod. Relaxing again, you wrap your arms around her waist and kiss her shoulders.

“Y-you died. There was a fire and I broke my wrist and it was smokey and you got impaled and you died. You asked me to kiss you and I couldn’t accept the fact you were dying so I didn’t kiss you. I couldn’t give you what you deserve.” She frowns and kisses you.

“No Y/N. Don’t you dare. It was just a nightmare, that’s all. I’m NEVER leaving you. ok?” She holds your face and kisses you softly. The kiss lasts a while and you melt into your touch. Fears still paralyse you every couple hours but she holds you until the sun comes up. She knows exactly what you love and how to make you feel safe. She really wasn’t ever going to leave.

~

Weeks pass. You are sure you have gotten past the nightmare. You go to work everyday and Yelena stays home going through paperwork. When you come home the two of you snuggle and bliss fills you. Your mother doesn’t ask you to come to any more charity events and you think maybe, just maybe things are good.

Then Yelena gets called on the mission. When she tells you she will be gone for a week your mind reels. You can barely see straight as the dream vividly flashes through your brain. Yelena gets worried, grabbing your hand and you back away searching her body for any sign of blood.

“No. Lena please. What if you get hurt? I-I can’t. You promised you’d never leave.” Her eyes look at you apologetically.

“Don’t worry. I’m a professional. It’s just a small info gathering job. Absolutely no danger,” she smiles at you and sets a hand on your shoulder. You back away from her hand and lean your head back to force the tears back.

“Yelena… ok. Please. Don’t get hurt,” She nods and kisses your cheek grabbing her bag.

You spend the entire week at home. Anxiety grips you so hard that you can’t stand to go to work. A fever strikes and you throw up every evening at almost exactly 10:30. Work tells you to stay at home and probably go to the doctor. Honestly you’d rather go to work so you have less time to think about her.

Most of Yelena's missions don’t allow for her to contact you and the stress of it all has your brain thinking of her the entire time she’s gone. By the time Yelena is on her way back you have dropped 12 pounds. You hadn’t eaten, only bothering to get up to feed Fanny. A cold sweat coats your skin and you hold your arms to you. Blankets were too hot, but it was too cold without them.

The alarm on your phone signalling it’s time to feed Fanny goes off. You throw the blankets off and wipe dried tears. The tv screen flashes a “keep watching screen.” You aren’t really sure when it came up but your mind hadn’t registered the tv in a couple days.

When the door clicks unlocked you scream. Silence had filled the apartment for so long and the sound was louder than anything you’d ever heard. Fanny starts barking, running to the door, then coming back and sitting at your feet.

You fall to the ground clasping the food scoop. Fanny licks your face as tears fall. Every fear that had plagued you came to the forefront of your mind. What if it wasn’t Yelena? What if it was Hill telling you to come in? No, they would call you for that. But if Yelena was dead…

Arms wrap around and pick you up, setting you on the couch. You whip your head back and forth trying to catch a glance of who it is. In the back of your mind you know it's her, but for some reason you’d been convinced over the past week that she’s dead.

A warm towel wipes away dried tears and snot, and a soft hand holds yours. Tears blur your vision but you steady your breaths. The anxiety in your chest dissipates. You lean your head back forcing the tears in and look back to catch a look at the woman you love. But, instead of long blonde hair and soft round face,  you see long red hair, falling in waves.

“Lena? Did you have to dye your hair for the mission?” She frowns and shakes her head, setting down the towel.

“Fuck Y/N. I know you can’t remember but I hate having to keep telling you this,” The voice is not Yelena’s. It’s your friends. Wanda’s. Your eyes look her all over and you tense up confused.

“Tell me what Wanda? What’s wrong with Lena?” She grabs both your hands and looks at you with the softest expression she can muster.

“The fire Y/N. Do you remember? The fire where Lena…. She bled out,” The anxiety of the dream. No memory. The smoke, your raw throat, and the hours of sobbing.

You shake your head and quick breaths fill your lungs. Wanda tries to get you to calm down. Your vision spots while your brain searches for oxygen your hyperventilating can’t provide.

“Y/N please calm down. Please. FUCK! I promised to never use it without permission but between the two of you…” Red magic flows from her hands and wraps around your head. Your breathing slows down and your vision comes back. Wanda cradles your head and hums.

You reach up and see the tear streaks on her face. Her eyes look bloodshot and dark circles are prominent under her eyes. You pout and try to hug her back. All the fears that had consumed you for weeks were now gone. Even if it was only by Wanda’s magic. You curled into her side and fell asleep. Finally able to find some peace.

~

It was the night of the charity gala. You drove home but had taken the long way around to cool off from your mothers subtle aggression. Plans on how to ignore her future advances build in your mind as you pull into the parking garage. You stepped out of the car and held your head in your hands. You hadn’t drank that much, but a headache would be inevitable.

Sirens sound from the road in front of your complex and you growl. The loud noise and lights make your head pound. You shake your keys and walk towards the stairwell. Coughing into your arm and you open the door to your floor. You throw your hand back with a scream at the hot door handle.

“the fuck…? NO!” forgetting your pain you throw open the door and run into the building. Smoke flows from under doors and fire licks at the walls. The sound of the siren gets louder from some open window. You run through the halls trying your best to not breathe in smoke. Yelena would be asleep. She wouldn’t know what’s happening.

Your apartment door is on the right and you stand back and kick the handle. Your foot hurts as it contacts the rough wooden door but it cracks. You kick again and the door falls in. Running through the door you smack your arm into the frame and cry out in pain.

Fanny barks from one of the rooms and you follow the noise letting her run free into the hallway. You hope dearly that the dog finds her way out.

The entirety of your home is consumed in flames. Beams that held up the apartment above you are on the floor. The poor old couple who was always so nice. Hopefully they had gotten out before it collapsed. Running to your bedroom you try to open the door. It gives quickly but before you can get to Yelena a strong arm grabs at your back.

“What the? HEY!” you squirm trying to slip out of the grip. You have no luck and result to punching. Nothing makes the arms let you go as they pull you from the building. Along the way down you consider it may be a firefighter saving your life.

“Please. My girlfriend, she’s still in there. Please, she was asleep. Save her. I can get out,” you plead with your “saviour”. The person doesn’t acknowledge any words or attempts of movement. They just carry you out of the building back into the parking garage. At some point you began crying, fearing for your girlfriends and your neighbours lives.

You are carried to a car and roughly thrown in. Your broken wrist, now remembered, aches and you curl into a ball. The driver doesn’t speak to you and the person who carried you doesn’t get into the car with you. You didn’t register the person in the back seat with you until they cough. Or rather She coughs.

“Oh Y/N I’m glad we got you out ok. I was so scared we wouldn’t be able to get you out before the fire got you too,” Your eyes widen at the familiar voice and you sit up looking into her eyes. The pieces fall into place in your mind. No you’d never thought she’d be this cruel. Yet here you were, Yelena and Fanny. They were in there.

“You didn’t. no no you didn’t. You are cruel and hateful but not murderous,” you pull away as a hand strokes your cheek. Hate flashes behind your eyes.

“Oh honey. You will forgive me when you realise it was for the sake of the family. Like they always say; ‘Mother knows best.’”

(So it has been decided this is going to be a series. Follow and shoot me an ask if you wanted to be added to the tag list for updates)

DO NOT repost my work. Reblogs and Likes are appreciated. If you enjoy my work leave a comment!

[tangledstarlight]

Prompt #37 (not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out) for Willex? 🧡

omg i didn't realise how long this had gotten djgh there's defo some weird pacing? and i'm not sure about the tone, also lets completely ignore whatever tense im writing it because i forgot half way through i think 😬 Anyway!! enjoy my friend!!

#37 not realizing they’re holding hands till someone points it out

hand holding prompts!

Luke keeps staring at them, eyebrows wagging and an annoying smirk on his face and Alex is thirty seconds away from throwing a drumstick at his friend's head. Alex and Willie had walked back into the garage to the sounds of a riff he hadn’t heard before while Reggie shouted out adjustments.

None of them had commented, had made a big deal out of it. And Alex loved his friends for that, for how they sometimes just knew when to not make a big deal out of things. There would be time for explanations later, maybe after he’d thrown something at Luke because why was he looking at him like that?

When Willie had rushed out of the garage it had left them all confused. They’d been laughing, joking around about new lyrics and the time Ray had had to come pick them up from the beach because they’d forgotten they couldn’t just magically poof around anymore.

And then Willie had gone still next to him on the sofa, body tense and muttered something about ‘air’ and ‘late’ before getting up and hurrying out. It had left the four of them looking confused at the door and Julie opening her mouth to say something. But Alex hadn’t waited to hear what it might have been. He’d simply gotten up too, said he’d go find out and left.

Willie couldn’t get very far anymore now he was alive again, and Alex knows he hasn’t gone far because his skateboard is still where he’d left it outside the garage and Willie trusted them all, but not enough to leave without his board. So he had to be somewhere nearby.

Alex had found him sitting on the steps half hidden behind bushes and flowers, head in his hands and fingers tangled between his hair. It’s not until Alex is standing almost in front of him that he notices the way Willie was breathing heavily, shoulders shaking and the urge to reach out and hug him had been at the tips of his fingers. The only thing that had held him back was knowing that sometimes Willie needed a little space. That he needed to be the one to bridge the gap first sometimes.

“Hey,” he’d said quietly, slowing his steps and shoving his hands into the front pocket of his hoodie to stop himself from reaching out to detangle Willie’s fingers from his hair.

“I—“ Willie started, not even looking up at first as he sucked in a stuttering breath and Alex had watched his fingers flex against his scalp before they’d relaxed slightly, sliding down until his fingers were around the back of his neck, eyes glancing up at him, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to just— to just run out. God I bet they hate me now.”

Alex had frowned a little, brows drawing together as he’d rocked a little on his feet and the only thing he could think to say was, “Huh?”

Because Alex knew for a fact that his friends thought a lot of things, mostly about music and food and who would win the coin toss on Friday for which film they watched next and in Reggie’s case about when Ray would be home. But thinking anything bad about Willie? He doubted a single thought like that had ever crossed any of their minds.

“Why would they hate you?”

Willie really looks up at him now, eyes wide and it was so easy to see the tears waiting in them that Alex had finally caved, hands tugging out of his pocket so when he sat down in the empty space next to the skater he could easily slip one arm around his shoulders.

“Because they’re all being so nice and I can’t even keep it together enough to pretend that I’m fine,” Willie had leaned into him then and Alex had relaxed slightly, glad he’d made the right move, but while his body had been relaxing his mind had tensed, rolling his words over and over again to try and make it them make sense.

“You don't have to pretend to be fine,” was the only thing he could think to say and had pulled back a little to be able to look into the other boy's eyes, “You don’t. Do you know how many times one of us has walked out of that garage when things aren’t okay? Way too many times to count.”

Alex himself had walked out only last week when he’d been having a bad day, and had walked until he’d found Willie at the park down the street where he’d spent the rest of his afternoon trying (and failing) to learn how to jump over something on a skateboard. And it had been months since they’d all come back to life and gotten re-accustomed to things. For Willie it had only been weeks. He was more then allowed to have a bad day.

“I don't want them to think I’m not— not grateful,” Willie said with a shrug, hands fall from around his neck to rest on his knees, only for him to start twisting his fingers together as he spoke, “You guys are all so tight and I’m in the one who caused you all these problems and then you had to save me and I— I know I’m not worth all that trouble and Caleb always used to say I could be too much, and I don't want to be too much for you. Or for them.”

And now Alex really has no idea what to say. He’d thought that maybe Willie had just been having a bad day, that he’d need to go scream in an empty parking lot or hide out in Julie’s room for a while. He had never even thought that Willie might think he wasn’t worth, well anything they’d done for him. Alex doesn’t know if he’s ever hated Caleb Covington more.

“Willie, hey, you’re never too much,” he moves his arm from around his shoulders to reach out and place one hand over Willie’s twisting fingers, stilling them and carefully pulling them up so he can take both, one in each hand. “Caleb was a lot of things, and a fucking liar is pretty high on that list.”

That startled a laugh out of Willie, fingers flexing against Alex’s before settling linked together.

“He did lie a lot,” he agreed, eyes on their linked fingers as he blew out a breath.

“I’d do it all again, save you, no matter what trouble it might have been,” Alex said, and Willie had looked up at him again, lips slightly parted and if Alex had known where they really stood in their relationship right now he might have leaned forwards to kiss him. Instead he just smiles, head nodding towards the garage, “And they would too. You’re part of the gang now and memberships are very hard to cancel.”

“Oh yeah? Do you leave people on hold with terrible music for hours?” There’s a slight smile playing at the edges of his lips again, and Alex almost sighs in relief.

“Nah worse,” he says, nudging his elbow into Willie’s side, “You have to tell Reggie you no longer want to be friends.”

“Oh that’s mean,” and Willie had giggled, eyes crinkling at the corner and Alex had known he was okay, they’d got through the worst of the Bad Day and was just glad he’d been able to help.

They’d sat in silence for a while, Willie playing with their linked fingers and Alex just watching him, and he could have sat like that for hours and been perfectly content. Something about Willie made his mind feel calm and life (after and more) feel better. The silence is broken by the sound of one of his cymbals crashing and Alex can’t stop the flinch that rocks through his body or the way his brows had cinched together as he pictured Reggie or Luke sitting at his stool and trying to work something out with the song they’d been working on. On his drums. Without him.

“Alright hotdog, let's go save your drums,” Willie says with a chuckle and Alex had tried to speak, to deny it, to say he was fine, but there was clearly something in his eyes that had Willie shaking his head and standing up first, easily tugging at their joint hands to pull Alex to his feet too.

And then they’d walked back into the garage, Julie had been sat his drums, gently tapping away while Reggie hovered over her shoulder and scribbling something down. She shot them a quick smile and Alex had found it hard to hold the same annoyance at her being at his drums that he would have had for Luke or Reggie. And then Luke had looked at them, a small kind smile growing into a wider grin that Alex didn’t understand. Until Willie had started walking towards Julie and Reggie, and he’d been tugged along too. Because they were still holding hands. Heat had quickly filled his cheeks as he’d looked down and then back up, but Luke was still grinning, head bobbing a little as he’d held up a thumbs up before turning back into the conversation happening around them.

And well, Willie doesn’t seem to notice or mind that they’re still holding hands, and Alex isn’t about to ruin the moment either.

[hoodie-lover]

My Multiverse Ask Event! #4

KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - First, Second, Third Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Fourth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Fifth, Sixth, Seventh Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Eighth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Ninth Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Tenth, Eleventh KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Twelfth, Thirteenth, Fourteenth Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Fifteenth, Sixteenth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Seventeenth, Eighteenth Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Nineteenth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Twentieth, Twenty-First Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Twenty-Second, Twenty-Third, Twenty-Fourth, Twenty-Fifth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Twenty-Sixth, Twenty-Seventh, Twenty-Eighth, Twenty-Ninth, Thirtieth Megalovaniaintensifies - Archive of Our Own - Thirty-First, Thirty-Second, Thirty-Third KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Thirty-Fourth, Thirty-Fifth Glorious_Smut - Archive of Our Own - Thirty-Sixth KikiTheSapphireKitsune - Archive of Our Own - Thirty-Seventh, Thirty-Eighth, Thirty-Ninth

Error managed to get into the Creator Realm, he brought the gang with him and they were looking for Maxie and her friends. Though that implied the creators wouldn’t find them first, which they did. 

“Hello, hello, hello!” Maxie said, wrapping her arms around Error as he glitched and screamed. 

“LET ME GO!” He screamed, and Maxie let him go with a pout. 

“So, as Kiki said, we will be inhibiting your quest! Trials and tribulations to test how much you have actually grown to see if you actually deserve to know. Also we’re bored and want to mess with you.” Maxie said, and Error facepalmed. 

“So, what do you want us to do?” Nightmare said, growling. 

“Please Nightmare, nowadays your bark is worse than your bite. Anyway, we have a few obstacle courses, some logic puzzles, some PTSD triggers.” Maxie said, smiling evilly. 

“What…?” Cross said, and Maxie raised an eyebrow. 

“What?” Maxie said, and Cross facepalmed. 

“Oh, no no no, I have only written a story about forest rangers. I would never torture Error. I am usually the one hissing in the comments to punish anyone who does hurt Error, I wish the hissing thing was a joke. Nightmare would kill me if I hurt Error, right? Getting killed by my second favorite Sans for hurting my first favorite Sans is not on my list pal.”

“Well, it seems we have a good noodle. Truly a rare find.” Error said, and Cross snickered. 

“One, I’m flattered that you like me. Second, I’m glad you fear me.” Nightmare said, looking around for the voice.

“You won’t see them, from here on out, you’re in a little playground my friends and I made. Good luck.” Maxie said, snicking. 

“Oh dear, guys, watch out the voices are planning to get the askers to mess with your search. They wanna draw this out so take any hints we give with a grain of salt. I'd start by looking at what Error is ẁ̵̡̼e̷̪̿à̸̩r̴̜͗i̸̛̦̗n̶͕̄ǵ̶̲, not many Sans with both a j̷͕͕̈́͂a̸̹̓ċ̵̲k̵̳͈̓̆ȇ̵̟̎ṭ̶̯̈́ ̵̨̺͋a̵̜͝n̵̠͋d̸͙͝ ̷͖̇͊s̵̢̟̑c̷̦̜̐͠a̸̦̘͗̎r̶̪̣͛f̵̰̄̾.”

“I think you guys are being censored. And I think we know who.” Error said, glaring at Maxie as she whistled. 

“So any other possible relationships in the making? come on my gloomy boys feed me gossip!”

“None over on our end. Though Swap!fell has a crush on Blue, and Red is territorial. We’re waiting for the brawl.” Killer said, chuckling at the thought. 

“sanses and the one or two AU papyruses when you try to stop the human at the judgment hall why not stop at the soul room to get near god power”

“Doesn’t matter. They would still beat us. We would have six, and the human has beat the photoshop abomination.” Sans said, and the others nodded. They had come over for a quick hang out.

“Ok my little Horror, aka my third fav, how good a cook are you? Like we talkin Gordon Ramsey of skeletons or what? Also are you aware you are a cute little bean?”

“I love Gordan Ramsey! He’s awesome! He has no qualms about yelling at people for their awful crimes against food. And I am aware, trust me, I know how to use it.” Horror said, winking. 

“May I hug all the dark sanses or would that cross a line? You all deserve all the love the megaverse can give you. I know what it feels like to be trapped, alone, and hurt in so many ways, I know what it is like to feel out of option and angry. You don't deserve that, despite everything you are all wonderful.”

“I’d love a hug!” Cross said and felt the hug, though no presence was seen. 

“Can I have a hug?” Horror asked and was given a hug.

“I’m good.” Killer said, and everyone else nodded. 

“Oh guys there are so many people who have written lyrics for your song megalovania. They can be quite good. I have only ever played the pacifist route myself and can't bring myself to watch an actual playthrough cause I can't watch my beloved monster friends get killed, but it is a catchy song. Have you guys seen any of them yet? Also I think you will like this fan song a lot https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TtCBLvAw4ZY&t=71s”

“What the fuck?” Killer said, nearly everyone had the same reaction.

“I liked it.” Cross said, humming the tune.

“papyrus how does your special attack work like if the annoying dog didn't take it”

“It’s just a blaster. Though it would be much friendlier than Sans’.” Papyrus said with a shrug.

“Can I also hug Blueberry? He is my fourth favorite.”

“Absolutely! I love hugs!” Blue said and felt the hug as he smiled. 

“You voices are weird.” Stretch said, lighting another cigarette.

“No more. That’s your third, I’ll burn the pack if you smoke another.” Blue said and Stretch groaned. 

“flowey if you really think its fun watching human kill everyone why do you beg for mercy if you act like you dont care ps if u wanna murder human kill toriel first.”

“I don’t beg! I was just scared at first and knew I couldn’t break the script! And in case you didn’t hear, I have literally done everything.” Flowey said, rolling his eyes. 

“to annoying dog sorry to papyrus in advance please follow papyrus all day while playing dogsong and steal all his bones  ps im glad ink didn't murder you”

The annoying dog yipped, he was glad he wasn’t murdered too. He kicked his stumpy legs and wagged his tail as he flew off to Papyrus, who had a feeling of foreboding and anxiety.

“YOU STUPID CANINE!” Papyrus declared as he tried to run while missing his femur. The dog smiled as the song echoed through the Underground and the dog smiled an innocent smile. 

“So here is a question to the Sans personality types, why do you lie to your brother about their food? You're not helping them, it would be far kinder to be honest and help them learn to be better. Someday they are likely to meet someone who will not let them down gently and will hurt them.”

“Implying we can. They either run out the door before we can talk or we have to try talking over them.” Sans said.

“Impossible in many AUs, plus, it’s actually good half the time.” Outer said, and Red nodded, glaring at Swapfell as he was ogling Blue from a distance. 

“Dream, what is it like being with your brother again? How is your guys brotherly bond affected by well everything that happened?”

“It’s awesome. We have fun and prank some unsuspecting Sanses every now and then. As people seem to forget for the longest time, we were mistaken for fey. And we didn’t help those accusations.” Dream said, “Though we never hurt anyone. Just harmless things like a pie going missing or flowers vanishing into thin air.” Dream snickered, he was back in the Doodlesphere by this point and reviewing paperwork. 

“Boys how do you feel about Uncle Dreamy?”

“Don’t.” Killer said. 

“No.” Cross said, eyes blank as he shook his head, everyone else was silent as they shook their heads and cringed. 

“frisk how is murdering everyone one fun after all i dont think you enjoy getting repeatedly killed plus since you reset so many times you know everything that happens underground besides there are more things to murder in surface ps you didnt answer if you got to the surface on genocide”

“I like to see the dust fall, them scream in pain, and beg for mercy. It’s cute. And yes, I can murder more things on the surface, but they don’t turn to dust or give the, for lack of a better term, high I need. And I don’t get to the surface, only if I spare everyone do I get there. And before you ask, in neutral runs I’m in a limbo state, have to RESET to leave.” Frisk said, smiling as their eyes glowed red.

“frisk what about napstablook or mad dummy you can't kill either”

“I can kill Glad Dummy, and Napstablook is worthless. I don’t wanna waste my time on them.” Frisk spat, growling as they left the ruins, stepping over Toirel’s dust. 

“You know what is cute? all the baby bones art of you guys. Awww why is every baby sans just so huggable? Ok ok but really baby Error! just picture a tiny baby Error and tell me that shit is not cute.”

“They’re very cute.” Nightmare said.

“But they didn’t show us any.” Killer said and Nightmare froze. 

“Oh.” Error said, and Nightmare turned into a puddle out of shame.

“And payback time, Nightmare, any stories about Dream?”

Springing back to life Nightmare donned a wicked and demonic grin. “Dream didn’t know what a bed was until he was 100. And it took three people to pry him off of it.” Nightmare said. 

“That’s actually sad. How long did you sleep in a tree?” Cross asked and Nightmare whistled. 

“Our whole lives before the apple incident. Up until then we only slept in a bed seven times each.” Nightmare said, and Cross gave him a teary hug.  

“dust how come your a bad guy you were forced to kill everyone your not a bad person if someones a bad person its the human and chara”

“First of all, Chara is only a problem because of Frisk, so they aren’t as guilty as you think. Though they are not innocent. And no one wanted to befriend a killer, sure they like Red, but it’s the culture. And Ink played his cards right so I couldn’t make things worse for him, there’s a reason he didn’t stop Nightmare from helping me.” Dust said, “Same goes for everyone else.” He finished and everyone nodded. 

“Hold on a sec, contacts? How do contacts work with eyelights? I don't understand...”

“Magic.” Error said, and Maxie snickered. 

“So, let’s begin the challenges!” She said and they were separated and thrown into a version of Snowdin.

“Where are we?!” they cried out, looking around but Maxie laughed. 

“Welcome to your first challenge! Can you handle the Star Sanses all by yourself? Only one of you has to win for all of you to proceed, and the battles will be scaled so you are evenly matched.” Maxie’s voice echoed through the area, but she was not seen. 

“Maxie. What are you doing?” Jana asked, accompanied by Beatrice. 

“Having a bit of fun. What are you doing?” Maxie said, smiling innocently. 

“Are you seriously messing with them?” Jana said, shaking her head in disapproval. 

“You didn’t raise any concern when Jack, Zack, and I were talking about our plan. So why are you looking at me like that?” Maxie said, and the two sighed. 

“Because we want to help. But only to an extent.” Jana said, and Maxie was intrigued.

“To what extent I may ask?” Maxie wondered, smiling. 

“If you trigger their PTSD or do anything relating to Ink, we’re out and we will tell them who Error was.” Beatrice said, and Maxie shrugged. 

“Sure. It’s a deal.” She said, holding out her hand as Beatrice shook it. 

“We’re still going to Jack’s for pizza right?” Maxie asked, changing the subject.

“Hell ya. I’m bringing garlic knots.” Beatrice said and Maxie's eyes lit up. 

“Garlic knots!” She held her hands up in joy. 

“Blue most of us saw that Christmas party webcomic already. We know you spiked the eggnog. Why do you always pretend to be so innocent? not that I have much room to talk on that front...”

“I have long admitted to spiking the eggnog at that party. And I haven’t spiked anything since. No one seems to believe me!” Blue said, grumbling as his eyes turned to small broken hearts as tears filled his eyes. 

“Sure.” Stretch said, and Blue glared, some glitches popping up. 

“to sci and alphys is it possible to turn flowey back into asriel.”

“Without 7 human souls, I don’t think we can. We’ve looked into it, just to see if it was possible. He may be ok with staying as Flowey, with the exception of the pacifist run, but others in his situation aren’t. So we looked at his code to see if it was hypothetically possible, and it isn’t.” Sci said, sipping coffee. 

“Yeah, h-honestly, I was h-hoping that we could. I-I regret i-it so much. I-I wanted to see i-if I could help others. B-but this is i-irreversible.” Alphys said, ringing her hands. 

“It broke Toriel and Asgore’s hearts. Though, they would respect Flowey’s wishes if he didn’t want to, he is still a person whose opinions should be listened to. Even if he is a jackass.” Sci said and Alphys nodded. 

“sanses how do you guys stop genocide routes from starting since you said there were very few”

“We don’t. They just stop, and then they start up again. Like wet and dry seasons, only more sporadic.” Classic said.

“Some worlds, like mine, don’t have as many, the way the world works kinda discourages it.” Red said, and Swapfell nodded. 

“frisk what was the strangest interaction you have had with someone in the underground”

“Gaster. He is so mysterious and strange. I wonder what his deal was, but I never can find out. I’ve met his followers and such, but I’ve never heard him speak, and I’m assuming the person I saw was Gaster!” Frisk said, they were somewhere in Snowdin forest, marking down words on their arm. 

☝☜❄ 💧✌☠💧 ❄⚐ ❄✌☹😐 ✌👌⚐🕆❄ 💣🕆☹❄✋✞☜☼💧☜. 

 ❄☟☼☜✌❄☜☠ 🏱✌🏱✡☼🕆💧. 

“so what has been the most dangerous mission the dark sanses have been sent on”

“There was HorrorLustFell.” Nightmare said, “Unaware of what was going to happen, I had Cross deal with it.” 

He was waiting for Maxie to start up her game, and he hoped his boys were doing well.  

“HorrorLustFell.” Cross said, “I took a month-and-a-half break after that to recover.” Cross said, raiding Grillby’s and the shops for armor, supplies, and food.

Everyone gave similar responses.

“Who all is helping with the search? everyone or just the gang?”

“Just us. Everyone knows what we’re doing and they’re willing to help if we need it.” Error said, shrugging as he made himself a swing and began to swing.

“Okay here is one for the classic undertale gang, since they know about the resets and multiverse now. thoughts on this video? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8hGMFQPBDw”

“Sans, do you want to talk?” Papyrus asked, and Sans was gone.

“I knew he had problems, but if someone can deduce that? Wow.” Toriel said, holding her hand over her mouth. 

“We have several therapists available.” Outer said, “The hard part is getting him to see one. And I know I’m a hypocrite.” Outer said, shrugging. 

“You are correct, space Sans.” Papyrus said, “I just wish he could talk about it.” Papyrus said. 

“I mostly wanna see what paps has to say about his brother hiding his mental health problems.”

“I knew he had issues, but I want him to talk to me, I know it’s hard to talk about your mental health problems, but it’s been five years. Though he has suffered far worse than any of us, if the Dark Sanses are anything.” Papyrus said.

“I’m going to stall Frisk, Toriel, you need to get out of here. Frisk will be getting here soon.” Papyrus said and everyone dashed out of the house.

“Have the sans ever had to have an intervention for any of the other sans, like Blueberries alcohol problem?”

“I have no problem first of all. And secondly, we have had to have interventions.” Blue said, “Black had a drug addiction a while back, and we are trying to get Papy to stop or reduce his smoking habits.” Blue said and Stretch sighed. 

“At least I’m working on it.” Stretch said, and Blue nodded. 

“oh i'm just teasing him, cause I love him.”

“Thank you!” Blue said, smiling. 

“frisk has there ever been a timeline in which the annoying dog didn't take the legendary artifact and if it wasn't taken what does the artifact do”

“I have never gotten the artifact.” Frisk said, Papyrus and Sans coming into view.

“to error how much exp did ink get you?”

“Quite a bit. The number escapes me, but it was in the hundreds.” Error said, swinging. 

“flowey at the end of the pacifist timeline you decide to give up the souls and break barrier once the barrier was broken you could have easily murdered more humans and get to be a goat again so why kill a few for their souls?”

“Timelines never last that long, and when I turn back, it leaves an impact on me that makes it hard to be a jerk for a while. Residual effects of being that whiny crybaby.” Flowey said, “And it wouldn’t change anything.” Flowey said, wilting a bit.

“Fresh, tell me about your furby collection? I miss mine. I had 3, they always said they were hungry last at night when I was falling asleep... it was kinda creepy.”

“I have a version of every Furby ever made. 3 is pathetic yo. Though they are demanding and creepy sometimes, I’ll give ya that brah.” Fresh said, looking around as snow fell around him.

“What are you guys doing to find Error's origin anyway?”

“We were going to ask the creators what they knew, since none of Killer, Dust, or Horror’s code could help us and Error’s code is a mess on account of him being a glitch, then we’d go from there, asking questions and making guesses based on what we knew.” Nightmare said, “For all we know Error could be from one of the many neutral timelines, and that wouldn’t pin anything down at all.” Nightmare said. 

“Blue, how do you hide your glitches? That seems like a very hard thing to explain to people you don't want knowing about the multiverse.”

“Dream made a small illusion charm with Sci and Alt’s help that makes me look normal. It’s also pretty!” Blue said as he held up a golden charm in the shape of a blueberry, it was attached to a gold chain that was hidden by his battle body.

“Have the rest of the Sans seen Error in his glasses? I need to see them all squirm at how cute he is!”

“Only Blue and Classic have seen him in his glasses. Other than us of course.” Killer said, “I helped make the frames, and the way his eyes lit up when he could clearly see for the first time, it was the best feeling in the world. I remember taking care of Pap, it felt like that.” Killer said, and he smiled at the memory. 

“How does Dream feel about being an uncle now? Is he a FUN Uncle?”

“I’m not really considered an uncle per say, but I do try to be fun. And it is fun to say that I am technically the Dark Sanses’ uncle, they have the funniest reactions.” Dream said, laughing.

“Error am I embarrassing you too much?”

“Yes.” Error said, still swinging.

(Tumblr, I need asks from you guys too.)

Next

Previous

[awesomeswimmingtimemachine]

What Next? (l word gen q fanfic)

Decided to give fanfic a try since quarantine doesn't seem to be ending anytime soon. Since I am most impatient for the l word season, Ive created my own continuation of events from the end of the first season. Enjoy :) 

Chapter 1

“Im here”

The crowd turned their heads and a light appeared. Nat was making her way towards the stage. Alice had been telling her guest, Roxanne Gay, that she was a bad queer for trying so hard to be “outside the box”. Alice admitted that she ruined the best relationship she had ever been a part of by adding her partner's ex-wife, Gigi, into the mix. But now, Nat was coming right for her, their eyes had met from across the room. Alice called for the cameras to stop rolling, but Sophie saw the potential of this moment and urged them to carry on. Nat professed her love for Alice and only Alice. The two embraced each other in front of the studio audience and were left happier and more in love than they had ever been.

Meanwhile…

Bette Porter had suffered a devastating loss in her campaign for mayor of Los Angeles. She felt not only the heartbreak of loss, but the disappointment of knowing she would be unable to effect change in her city. However, this was not to be the first heartbreak Bette had suffered, in the days leading up to the decision she had learned that Tina planned to remarry. There was a part of Bette that always believed Tina would find her way home, the two had a tendency to find each other despite what trials of life got in their way. Bette was coming to terms with the fact there would be no way home for her this time. Even for a woman of Bette’s fortitude and resilience, the events of the previous weeks had taken their toll. When the time came, she found herself alone on her couch yearning for peace and quiet.

Angie, never one to see her mom sulk, told her mother grab her shoes because they were going to go for a hike. Bette voiced her reluctance, but eventually gave in to her daughter’s request. Angie took her mom to a spot that she often hiked to after her Aunt Kit passed. Bette, overwhelmed by the moment she was sharing with her daughter, shared her own experience of relief and restoration. She told Angie about a time years ago when she decided to attend a silent retreat. Angie laughed at the mere thought of her mother being silent for an extended period of time. Bette smiled, but then told her of the amazing catharsis that comes with screaming after holding everything in for so long. After a beat, Bette asked, “wanna give it a try?”. Angie smiled and said yes. “Okay, but you have to do it, you have to commit and let it all out”. The two women took deep breaths and then screamed at the top of their longs until there was no more breath left. When they were done, the two looked at each other and embraced, ready to make their way back down the mountain.

As they headed back down the trail, Angie caught sight of a pup that drew her attention. “What a cute dog!” she exclaimed as she knelt to say hello. The owner smiled and then quickly noticed Bette. “Maya?” Bette exclaimed as she noticed the owner. Maya smiled.

“I know I’m supposed to be impartial, but I was pulling for you”

“Thank you” Bette responded with an embarrassed smile. The two exchanged some more pleasantries and, sensing the end of their encounter, Maya asked her if she would like to go to dinner. Bette, assuming she was looking for an inside scoop on the election, quickly rebuffed Maya explaining that she was not ready to make any official comments. Maya smiled and explained that the dinner would be “off the record”. Bette realized she was flirting and was admittedly caught off guard. It's not often she is speechless. “You have my number” Maya said before walking off. Angie and Bette continued on their way, all the while Angie teased her mother about finding “The love of her life.”

Across town…

Shane was packing up a number of baby gifts she and Quiara had been given. Quiara had refused to get out of bed since the miscarriage the day before. Shane wasn't sure how to react or what to do. She felt for Quiara and the loss, but truthfully had a sense of relief. Shane had always been honest with Quiara, kids were not a part of her plan. But when Quiara showed up at her front door professing her love and telling Shane she didn't need her but wanted to be with her, what else could she do? Shane was so in love with Quiara and she was willing to put aside her desires to share a life with her.

Quiara, still reeling from the events, finally made her appearance. Shane could see how broken she looked, and wanted nothing more than to take care of her, but once Quiara saw what she was doing she began to let out her frustrations. Quiara accused Shane of being relieved and happy with the way things turned out. Shane was taken aback, overwhelmed and speechless. She knew nothing she could say would help, but she didn’t need to say anything. Quiara threw her ring at Shane and stormed off. Shane picked up the ring and sat on the floor, trying to understand what had just happened.

“No one is ever going to love you because you are incapable of loving anyone but your fucking self”

The words rang in her mind, repeating themselves, taking a piece of her every time. She couldn’t think about anything else as she sat on the floor clutching the ring. “I need a drink” she said to herself, grabbing her keys and making her way to the jeep. While driving to Dana’s she realized that the last thing she wanted was to be around people. She parked the car in the alley, grabbed a few bottles from her office but decided to drive around a bit to clear her head before heading home. While she was driving she came across a mutt rummaging through some trash on the street. She looked into its sad eyes and felt a connection. She heard the words Quiara had said once more, “incapable of loving anyone but yourself.'' There was a deep ache in her heart, was she broken? She looked out at the lost dog once more and in a moment of desperation led the mutt into her jeep. She looked at him, and he looked back at her with kind eyes. “What the hell am I doing?” she asked herself before driving back home.

Chapter 2

The next morning, Shane was stirred from sleep by the sounds of someone in her kitchen. She sat up in bed, feeling the blood rush to her ears and a headache pounding in behind her eyes. The empty bottles by the bed indicative of her activities the night before. Shane willed herself to get out of bed and make her way towards the kitchen. As she came out of her room she could see Alice.

“You have a dog Shane”

“Yeah Al, I know”

“Why do you have a dog” she asked, emphasizing the word dog, “and where is Quiara?!”

Shane knew she would have to tell Alice what happened eventually, but she pictured herself a little less hungover. Shane poured herself a cup of coffee, seemingly ignoring Alice who was impatiently waiting for answers. Shane, now facing Alice, leaned against the counter before taking a slow satisfying sip of her coffee. Another moment passed before she said it, “Quiara left me..”

Alice stood there, trying not to let how shocked she was show on her face, but not doing very well. Shane continued to sip her coffee while Alice collected herself. “She left you…. And you got a dog?”  she said confused. Shane recounted the night's events, telling Alice only what she needed to know and nothing more. Alice listened attentively, but plopped herself down the couch.  When Shane was done, “wow” was all Alice could manage. Silence hung in the air for a moment before Alice spoke again. “So what's his name?” she asked.

“His name?” Shane responded

“Yeah Shane, dogs have names”

Shane turned to look at the mutt who had chosen a small corner of the kitchen to sleep in last night and was still lying there. His big sad eyes looked up at her, but he did not move. “Dog, his name is Dog” she said in a dismissive manner.

“You can’t fucking name a dog Dog”

“Why not?” Shane asked hungover and a little annoyed by how much energy she had already spent this morning.

“Because Shane, ‘Dog’ is not a name”

Shane turned to face the dog who looked at her again, “okay what about.. Bud”

“Bud?! What are you five?” Alice asked with a slight mocking tone in her voice

“Well I don’t know Al, what am I supposed to name him”

“I don't know!” she responded with a higher tone in her voice, “what about Lou”

“Lou?” Shane asked in a flat tone. Suddenly there was a deep banging noise. She looked over to see the dog had begun to wag his tail. “Lou” she said again and he lifted his head to attention. “OH MY GOD. I’m the fucking dog whisperer” Alice exclaimed causing Shane to roll her eyes and say, “Lou it is.”

Over the next couple of days, Shane spent a lot of time at Dana’s trying her best to keep herself busy. She paid Finley to buy some dog food, a bed and even to walk Lou. Finley was happy for the extra cash and goodies she could swipe from the house.  

Shane had gotten the dog to prove to herself that she could care about someone other than herself, but the truth is she wasn't sure she could. She spent her nights out on the terrace underneath the night sky, trying not to think about Quiara. As she continued to pour the drinks she would begin to think about all the times she had let someone down. Shane had always felt like a disappointment, and had a tendency to be self-destructive. She believed she had outgrown that, but maybe she was just good at hiding it.

And then there was a knock at her front door. Her heart stopped for a moment remembering the last time someone came to her front door at that time of night.

She made her way to the door, but found Lou standing guard. His stance ready and his eyes fixed on the front door. “Stay,” Shane said as she caught a glimpse of who was on the other side. She opened the door to a big smile from Bette. “Hey you,” she said to Shane, catching a glimpse of the dog. “ I hear you are keeping busy these days.” Shane smirked and invited Bette into the house. “Bette, meet Lou.” Bette smiled at the dog and looked back at Shane with concerned eyes.

“Im fine, I promise”

“I know,” Bette said, knowing better than to try and tell Shane what she is feeling.

Bette had brought groceries and proceeded to the kitchen. “I figured you could use a home cooked meal, and I could use a friend. What do you say?” she said, turning to look at Shane as she unpacked the bag. Shane smiled, simply responding with “You want a drink?” The two friends took the time to get into their usual rhythm, allowing the first round of drinks to settle before opening a bottle of wine to have with dinner. They ate their meal with a casual and playful atmosphere, but as the bottle was finished and another opened, the conversation found itself veering into its intended territory.

The two sat across from each other, plates nearly clean and the second bottle of wine half empty. “What happened?” Bette asked, knowing Shane would put up her usual bravado. Shane sighed. “I’m broken,” she responded so matter of factly that Bette was taken aback.

“You are not broken”

“Yeah I am, she was right Bette. I was relieved. I didn't want a kid but I wanted her. I was selfish and she left me because … I’m incapable of love.”

Bette let the words sit there for a moment. “Is that what she told you?” she finally asked. Shane didn’t respond. “Shane, you are not broken. Humans by definition are imperfect and we all have our own tendencies to self-destruct. Me included.” Bette said that last part with a little extra weight. Shane looked at her friend who was so good at putting on a brave face for the world but, ever so often, would let her guard down. She reached across the table and held Bette’s hand. Bette looked up across the table to Shane and managed a slight smile.

“I know you are capable of love because I see the way you love Angie, and she adores you. You are a great friend because you love us and we love you. Don’t let the words Quiara said to you in anger question the beautiful person you are.”

“It's different. Cheri, Carmen, Molly …. Quiara… I always hurt the people who love me, because I am not built to love them back, ” Shane said with defeat in her voice.

“I don't believe that” Bette replied without hesitation. “You loved all of them, but maybe you weren't built to love them the way they wanted to be loved, and that is okay.”

Shane let the words weigh on her for a moment. Silence hung in the air.

“So a dog huh,” Bette said teasingly

Shane sat back and looked at Lou who was laying in bed but watching them attentively.

“How are you holding up?” Shane asked, hoping to change the subject. Bette could see what she was doing, but she pursed her lips and didn’t fight it. “Well Tina is getting married,” she said with the slightest pain in her voice. “I know,” Shane replied, “She asked if she could use Dana’s for her engagement party.” Bette flinched and then sat there for a moment before reaching for the dishes and making her way to the sink. Shane was quiet, watching her, knowing that she would speak when she was ready. Bette hung her head, took a deep breath and turned to face Shane. “She deserves to be happy, even if it isn't with me.” Bette was being honest, but Shane knew this was still hurting her. “We are quite the pair,” Shane remarked as she picked up the remaining dishes from the table and walked them over to the sink. The two women cleaned the kitchen together in silence, working in harmony, each with something weighing on their mind. As she was drying the last plate, Bette broke the silence, “I went on a date a couple of nights ago.”

Shane poured the last bit of wine into her glass and smiled, “With the hot reporter I bet.”

Bette put the plate down in utter disbelief. “How on earth could you possibly know that?” she said almost laughing. She looked over to Shane who had a knowing smile. “Because, I’m me. And she was into you at that campaign event. How was the date?”

[yoongihime]

Cheeky Bunny

 Hybrid!AU: Leopard!OC x Bunny!Kook Length: 4.1K (lol is this even a drabble anymore?) Genre: The Most Fluffy Fluff Type: Disney Drabbles ☞REQUEST HERE☜ Recommended OST: (x) Request By: @/kimtrain:“Don’t underestimate the importance of body language." love youuuu MJ so so much  (a/n): IDK OKAY? I REALLY IDK WHY IM SO SOFT. But anyways I this is so frickin fluffy idk anymore (read: I screamed a lot and wanted to smash my keyboard) and any comments are always appreciated, my inbox is open for you lovelies. 

Summary: You’re a predator and he’s the prey, so what happens when the tables finally turn for our dearest bunny? 

“(y/n), you’re fucking drooling.” Taehyung lands a particularly hard pat against the nape of your neck, immediately eliciting a hiss from you and a chuckle from him; your attention now regrettably snagged away from your little crush.

“You brat, that's not a good enough reason to grab my nape,” you hiss, your hands rubbing against the tender flesh. As felines, the neck area is off limits, it’s too intimate and oddly sensitive due to the period where parents would grab their litter my the scruff. So you find it absolutely necessary to repay to favor with a hard smack against his abdomen with your tail, causing a growl to bubble inside the lion-hybrid’s chest, his sunny demeanor evaporating and lips peeling back in act of dominance.

“Oh hush,” you dismiss, rolling your eyes and petting the thick fur of your tail, “You’re honestly acting childish, what are you? A big domestic cat?”

“Just because you are naturally a solitary breed does not excuse you from social norms, (y/n).” Taehyung firmly states, his ears twitching in his messy mop of golden hair. An involuntarily side effect of annoyance.

Well shit, you gone and pissed him off. Again.

“Fine, fine. I’m sorry,” you murmur, your steely blue eyes turning downcast and fluffy white ears laying low in a form of regret. You’re not exactly good with other creatures, since it’s in your nature to want to be prickly and sarcastic, but more often than not you come off as rude or completely awkward. You could say you were born this way. Taehyung lets you brew in your regret for approximately five seconds until the switch it flipped and he’s back to his grossly capricious self.

“Alright, alright that's enough serious talk to last another month, how about we go grab some lunch?” Taehyung suggests, his hand already pulling you closer to his body and his arm wrapping around your form, causing a smile to blossom on your face, taking comfort in his forgiveness. To the entire school you two are the perfect pair, despite the fact that your relationship with Taehyung is completely platonic, the student body seems drawn to the aura you two give off. Taehyung is the ever carefree feline, The Popular Kid everyone gets along with, from the wolves to the fawns, they’re all his loving admirers. At the complete opposite end of the spectrum, there’s you. You’re the icy princess, the rare snow leopard hybrid, with your piercing electric blue eyes and smokey grey hair, you’re the moon to Taehyung’s vibrant sun. It’s quite obvious that people are afraid to approach you, even the biggest predators in the school have difficulty holding a conversation, let alone the domestic creatures. As a cruel twist of fate, the object of your affections, the reason the sun rises and the moon cries, is-

“Hey, bunny!” Taehyung greets the retreating boy, his long strides coming to a halt as he turns to look at the two of you. His tail twitches, the fluffy black ball bouncing where he can’t, bunny ears popping up to match and he turns around with a nervous smile tugging the edges of his lips.

“Jungkook!” You half-yell, causing the boy to flinch in his spot, “Do you want to go have lunch with us?”

“I-I err,” Jungkook begins, his composure already melting by the degree from your attention, “I have a meeting to get to,” he practically spits out and bolts out of the room, causing you to freeze in your tracks, your spirits broken once again.

“H-he he did it again.” You sigh the sentence out, as if the harsh exhale would also expel your disappointment. Collapsing back into the chair, you let Taehyung blatantly laugh at your distress as you sulk in the bitter rejection. Jeon Jungkook, the resident film major and bunny hybrid, is your unrequited crush of two years. It’s not his fault that he’s uncomfortable around you, it’s only natural after all, but the boy goes through such great lengths to avoid you to the point where you’ve convinced yourself-

“He hates me.” You deliver the final blow, the statement cutting deeper into your bruised ego.

“He’s just intimidated, the poor kid is a bunny (y/n), and you look at him like you want to gobble him up.” Taehyung winks, making you groan and place your head none too gently on the surface of the table.

“It’s not intentional,” you bemoan, “he just looks so… sweet.”

“There you go again, stop using adjectives that describes food to talk about him! Delicious, irresistible and delectable are absolutely off limits too,” Taehyung lectures, “unless you’re describing me of course.” Taehyung notes your lack of response with an empathetic pat to your back,

“It’s easy (y/n), just relax a little.”

“What difference would that make?”

“You my dear, underestimate the importance of body language,” he insinuates with a wag of his eyebrows.

Almost as reflex, your tail whips out to punch him once again, but Taehyung is done with your antics and grabs the plush fur, causing you to hiss in surprise,

“Okay, okay let’s get you lunch before you claw my face off.”

“(y/n) and Jungkook, you’ll be partners for the upcoming project.”

It’s quiet. The ensuing silence is borderline comedic in it’s magnitude, sharp enough to cut and thick enough to suffocate, so much so that your professor tilts her chin down, her scrutinizing stare piercing through her -5.75 prescription glasses and her voice shattering the eerily tranquil lack of noise,

“I believe I am to take the silence as an affirmative?”

Jungkook fidgets in his seat, his nervous energy radiating off him in tangible waves that suffocates the air surrounding you, despite the fact that he is seated three rows away. When his back straightens and his lungs fill with more air than the usual capacity, you choke out a response before he could light your reputation along with his into fine-grained embers.

“Yes, m’am.”

His incredulity is apparent, even if you can’t see those precious eyes widen in front of you, he makes his vexation clear as day though the twitch of his ears and the occasional half turns he performs every few minutes to stare blankly at you. As the hours tick by, you begin to get restless. It’s not his fault, or yours for that matter, your senses are simply on high alert from the sheer amount of movement he’s making, his fear soaking into your skin, triggering your instincts to hunt.

As the thin thread of your self control begin to deteriorate, the bell rings, effectively snapping you out of your frenzy. Students begin to shuffle out of the room, along with the professor for her next lecture, but your hairs are still standing on end and you take longer than usual to gather your laptop and array of stationary into your backpack. When the grumbles about said hellish assignments fade, another sound perks you up from your packing, the sound of Jungkook’s sneakers squeaking to a stop in front of your desk. Silence gathers gradually, building up under his gaze until you’re drowning in it and have to look away with a clearing of your throat—

“So when do you want to meet up to do the project?” You zip up your backpack, settling it onto your shoulders and rising from your seat without meeting his gaze. Jungkook swallows, his resolve crumbling when you stand up because you’re that much closer to him and his pounding heart. He wanted to say that sentence, wanted to arrange a time and maybe get you to smile at him again today, but it’s impossible to concentrate when every cell of his being is screaming at him to run. So when your eyes meet his, the orbs chatoyant and inquisitive, he blurts out the first phrase that comes to mind which happens to be-

“I can do it.” He states it like a fact, like he is telling you that the sun rises east and sets west.

Curse that stupid fight or flight response.  

“W-what?” you splutter, your limited patience finally running out. It’s one thing to harbor personal feelings towards you but another completely to bash on your work ethic, so your body chooses the choice that he so easily abandoned: Fight.

“Listen Jungkook, I’m going to hope that you didn’t mean that just now and try again. So you really don’t like me, I get it. You’ve made that more than clear to me, so I don’t know why I keep trying like this.”

A sigh.

Jungkook is at a loss, his mouth opening only to close once again, the only consistency being the frown between this eyebrows and the strange twitching of his ears; his body as uncooperative as ever in this imperative moment.

“Maybe dislike is a bit too tepid,” your face sour, “maybe you even hate me.”

Your finger shoot up to hush him at his sudden look of panic.

Wow, your heart hurt.

Stupid, stupid bunny.

“Don’t worry I’m not going to pounce on you just because of your personal feelings,” you explain, but your claws are extended, “but I will not hesitate to do so when you’re bashing on my honesty and work ethic like this. Now, I’m open to work together during lunch and I have a free period for sixth. Come find me or whatever.”

Your ego is so bruised by this point you stumble haphazardly towards the end of row and closer to the neon exit sign, your escape. Fingertips brushing the metal doorknob, you’re pulled back by a strong grip on your wrist, and of course it’s Jungkook. He’s panting, as if those measly steps towards you required immense effort and if you weren’t so caught in your own bitterness you would have noticed the rose tinted hue coloring his cheeks and the faraway look residing in his eyes when you turned to meet his gaze.

“I-I don’t hate you.” Jungkook pleads, his eyes sincere and you hate how your heart leaps out of your chest at those three words. Not exactly an ‘I love you’ but at least that’s some progress.

“Please give me another chance, (y/n).”

Your anger wants to say no, to cut him off and drown in your own self pity, but his hold tethers you to reality and releases you from your childish emotions. Maybe it’s your stubborn ambition that wants to see him try his best, to pine for you as you have for him or maybe it’s the way your name rolls of his tongue, smooth like a melody, that convinces you to agree,

“Okay.”

“You’re here again today, bunny!” Taehyung greets Jungkook who looks up from his notebook to smile at the lion hybrid as he drapes his legs over the bench across from you. For the past week, Jungkook has been sitting with you at lunch and even near you during classes, his presence rivaling Taehyung’s during your days on campus.

You’ve gotten quite smitten with the boy, but your wounded pride refuses to accept that any of his precious displays of affection could mean anything more than friendship. Yes, the way his hand brushed yours as he picked up his assignment has nothing to do with the fact that he wanted to touch you, but didn’t know how to or the constant smile that appears on his face when he makes you laugh is most obviously one of curtesy for your sake. It has to be. You’d sooner believed that the boy would like you (let alone love you) than if he goes and tattoo ‘I <3 (y/n)’ on his forehead.

Yet the reality is indeed the opposite for the lovestruck bunny. You’re his poison and his cure, a step loving you is just a another step towards realizing how incredibly little of an impression he has in your eyes. To say Jungkook is frustrated by how lukewarm your reactions are to his efforts would be an understatement of enormous proportions; for goodness sake he swears you were not like this last week. So what gives? Oh right, him and his loose reflexes that’s what happened. At the verge of giving up, Jungkook looks pleadingly towards the golden boy across the table, his eyes conveying what his speech can’t.

Taehyung knew it was going to happen sooner or later, that poor bunny is reaching his breaking point. He’s not saying that this is Jungkook’s fault (because let’s face it you’re denser than a steel wall when it comes to romance, especially once you’ve been jaded by it), but he’s not going to say that the bunny is innocent in this either. So when those round, clear eyes turn his way as he was munching on his cheeseburger, Taehyung swallows thickly, knowing exactly what the brunette is asking of him.

“Hey (y/n), can you so get me a soda?” Taehyung interrupts your scribbling, your eyes looking from him to his half filled water bottle with apprehension.

“You have drink right there?” you question, clearly confused by his need for another beverage.

“Please? I’ll buy you lunch tomorrow, I’m really thirsty.” Taehyung pleads, his large hands coming to frame his face in a V and his eyes blinking rapidly in an attempt to act cute. Damn him and his beautiful face, if it was anyone else they would look like a Class 1 idiot, but Taehyung somehow pulls the stunt off with grace. You immediately cringe at the display but laughter blooms from your chest nonetheless,

“Okay, okay I’m going. No need to threaten me Tae.”

As you shuffle away, Taehyung turns his attention to the Jungkook. The boy was staring after you with so much longing Tae considering smacking the lovesick grin right off his face.

“So Jungkook,” Taehyung begins, causing those doe eyes to meet his scrutinizing ones, “maybe its just me, but I think you like my best friend.”

Jungkook splutters on the water he was sipping, his chest having up and down to ease the burning of his lungs.

“I- err ..yeah.” Jungkook’s noncommittal response drifts from his lips, if admitting it to Taehyung as difficult, how the hell was he going to say that to you? He grasps his chocolate brown locks messing up the already fluffy strands,

“But she doesn’t notice at all! I’ve been trying so hard.” Jungkook groans, his frustrations overwhelming his shyness for the time being.

“Listen, bunny. You’re going to have to try a lot harder than that for that girl to understand. She likes you too you know?” Taehyung says through a mouthful of fries, causing Jungkook’s ears to perk with interest but his face remains pouty and sad on the surface of the table.  

“I’ve been trying so hard though, Tae. Compared to before at least.” Jungkook sulks.

“Ah, that’s where you’re wrong, my boy! She had hope before you went and shot all of that down and now her emotions are in Grade A lockdown prison called Denial. Unless you want to spell it out and tell her straightforwardly she’s not going to register any of it.”

Jungkook groans, his ears drooping with realization.

“So what do you suggests I do?”

Taehyung’s devilish smile is rather unsettling but Jungkook trusts the lion to not fail him and he draws closer for Tae to whisper into his soft ears.

You come back to a rather strange scene: Jungkook blushing profusely as Taehyung pinches his ear, cackling and whispering something into them only for the two of them to answer with guilty Nothing’s when prompted.

Finger quivering, you take in a deep breath before pressing the little doorbell. It elicits a light, soft sound inside the household, probably because bunny hybrids are sensitive to noises. You hear multiple thumps from the inside, no doubt the siblings Jungkook told you about, and three seconds later the boy himself appears in front of you. He looks amazing today as always, his brown locks ruffled and black ears sitting attentively on top along with a huge cream-colored sweater that he fills out all too well, completed by distressed jeans that seem to be screaming for air from his muscular thighs. As if he’s vocalizing your thoughts—

“You look beautiful today.” Jungkook compliments with a blush, his cheeks turning rosy and a cough is forced out of his chest as a way to avoid your eyes.

Only curtesy (y/n). He’s being polite. You chant mentally, not daring to search for any hidden meanings behind his words. Your body is a bit more honest with the way your ears seem to stand on end, and a dust of rose also makes an appearance across your features.

“Thank you,” you manage to reply, “you’re not so bad yourself.”

He seems to be encouraged by that, taking you by the hand and tugging you upstairs towards his room with some utterance of how his parents are away on a trip and that’s why he has to babysit the kids. His comments flow into one ear and out the other because all you process are your heartbeats ringing in your ears and the way his hand completely envelope yours.

God what is this boy trying to pull today? you mentally yell, praying that he won’t be able to feel your racing pulse through your adjoined hands.

“This is my room.” He announces, hand still firmly holding on to yours despite the fact that the two of you arrived at your destination.

It’s as if you’re seeing an extension of Jungkook between the rows of black and white film photos on the wall, the neat and tiny desk, as well as his color coded figurines down to his deep navy blue sheets that smells just like him.

“You’re so neat.” you breathe out, not knowing what to say when you’re so immersed in his scent you’re practically dizzy from the pheromones.

You pull away from his hold, not looking back to notice his pout and sitting down in his office chair, as far away from him as possible.

“Let’s get to work then!” You suggest, and he nods pulling another chair right next to yours, and leaning over to turn on the desk lamp. At this angle he’s close enough for your lips to brush his nape, the temptations making your canines ache. All too soon he leans back, his smile innocent and you had to exert all your self control not to groan in frustration.

You and Jungkook.

In his room, immersed in his scent.

With about two inches of space in between.

Yep, this was going to be the longest day of your life.

This has to be the most productive you’ve been in your entire life. Maybe it’s because this project is worth more than half your grade, or maybe it has something to do with the need to distract your mind from the bunny sitting next to you. You’re busy drawing up the next draft when—

“Kookie?”

“Oh my god it’s a mini Jungkook!” You exclaim before your mind realized what you were saying, but the tiny little boy at the door was too adorable to dismiss with just a glance. He’s simply too precious, with his short grey ears and round eyes, you barely held yourself back enough to scoop him up in your arms. Jungkook laughs at the wonder displayed on your face, a little jealous that his little brother would be able to steal your heart so easily when he couldn’t.

“Yes Jeonghyun?” Jungkook rushes to his little brother’s side, but the little boy only eyes you with apprehension as he pulls his older brother closer.

“Okay, okay don’t cry.” Jungkook soothes him, lifting him easily in his arms and walking away with him, but not before you spot the unmistakable glare the little bunny is throwing your way.

Great, his entire family hates me, you sigh, the thought more disturbing to you than you would have imagined.

“Hello? Earth to (y/n)?”

You blink, realizing that Jungkook has been trying to get your attention.

“Are you okay?” He prompts, his face a bit to close for your liking so you nod your head, not trusting your voice quite yet.

“C’mon I know you well enough to know when you’re sulking (y/n),” Jungkook places both hands on your cheeks, causing your eyes to widen, “What’s wrong?”

“Would your entire family be scared of me?” You whisper the question because even to you it sounds ridiculous and childish. Jungkook is surprised by the hurt in your voice, but it makes him realize how vulnerable you are right now, with your heart on your sleeve and tears pricking your eyes. You’re simply too soft, delicate enough for him to strengthen his resolve and pick you up princess style, plopping onto his bed with you snuggled tight on his lap.

“Jungkook—“ You tense in surprise, trapped on his legs with his chin resting on your right shoulder and his arms the lock to your makeshift prison.

“Of course not, (y/n). I’m not scared one bit.” Jungkook declares, as if it is the most obvious thing in the world. To emphasize his point, his hands intertwine with yours, fingers grasping yours tight and his face nuzzles deeper into the crook of your neck, his nose skimming your sensitive nape, eliciting an involuntary pleased sigh from you.

“Jungkook, stop.” You plead, but your voice is much too weak and your body melts further into his hold. Why is he so strong for such a bunny? You never realized how broad he was until this moment, with your body so easily wrapped up into a harmless little bundle on his lap.

“Don’t wanna.” He protest, the childish tint to his voice only making you blush harder.

“You’re supposed to do this with someone you like.” You protest, but you’re as soft as dough in his grip at his point.

“You’re so dense you know that?” He pauses, beaming at you and you open your mouth to counter when he saying takes the chance to attack,

“I like you, you dummy.”

As if the crushing embarrassment crashed down on him all at once, he burrows his face back into your neck, letting you precess the words all by yourself, eyes glazed over and dreamy. It’s not until he begins to laugh that you snap back into reality,

“(y/n) why are you making that noise, it sounds like you’re choking on your meows.”

You completely heat up at that, burning much to hot to be suffocated on his lap.

“It’s called chuffing you dumb bunny,” you defend your self, cheeks overheating at this point,

“and it means I like you too.”

The pair of you soak in the moment until you hear Jungkook’s gentle musings, “Ah Jeonghyun is going to be even more upset,” he says as he kisses your temple, you’re so distracted from the feeling of his lips on your skin that you don’t even question it, but he graciously explains, “he’s a little jealous of you.”

You make a noise of acknowledgement, your brain overridden by your heart and its giddy thumps.

“It’s okay I like him more than you anyways.” You teasingly tell Jungkook, causing the bunny to flip you over on his lap so that you’re straddling him. Preparing yourself for a retort, your mind completely blanks when he surprises you with a kiss instead of a reply. He’s as sweet as you assumed in your daydreams, his lips gentle and hesitant against yours. Sugar melting on your tongue, you instantly crave more of him, his scent, his taste. True to your nature, you let out in impatient whine, having none of his gentleness when all you want to do is taste him properly. You pull him closer by the baby hairs on his nape, giggling slightly as he lets out a keen of surprise when you nip at his bottom lip and soothes it with your tongue.

“Serves you right, bunny.” You taunt, mirth filling your eyes and laughter ringing until he shuts you up with another kiss, his finishing statement making you splutter with shock—

“I love you, kitten.”

.

.

.

“So what do you suggest I do?”

Taehyung’s devilish smile is rather unsettling but Jungkook trusts the lion to not fail him and he draws closer for Tae to whisper into his soft ears.

“She really loves it when people call her kitten, why don’t you try that?”

“Wha—“

“Trust me.”

“What are you guys whispering about?”

“Nothing!”

[the-shy-lonely-weirdo]

Johnny is Dead

I made up a story based on the “Murdoc is God” song. I understand that Johnny is probably supposed to be Jimmy, the guy that was planning on killing the group, but I thought this would be an interesting “What if” scenario. Here is a story about Murdoc and his relationship with Johnny, and how it affected him further in life. This story will cut past to present with each chapter.

Chapter 1

Murdoc is King

              Though the store clerk had his mature magazine laid out in front of him at the counter, it was very clear he was not actually observing the large chested women in it. His blinks carried on for far too long and his head lobbed back and forth like a newborn trying to get their bearings. He was nowhere near the spriness of a newborn though, judging by his wrinkles, as defined as those on a bald cat, his grey hair, that’s path came from his sideburns, down to his chin, up his lips, into his nose and ended sprouting out, and his glasses as thick as a hookers left boob. It was clear that he had spent a long time in the old town of Stoke-On-Trent, and didn’t have much time left.

               No one would blame him for his inappropriate choice of reading, or his lack of duty as the shopkeeper at a time like this. By now, all the residents of Stoke-On-Trent would be happy at home, eating their home cooked meal, or huddled around the heater watching the telly or reading a book. If anyone were to come, it would be some steaming drunk sod stumbling in or some sprog tossers looking to cock up his night with their endless goddy and disregard for the rules. He had the Old Bill on speed dial because of those folks. Still, not a single customer had come in for sometime, and with closing time being soon, the elder suspected the day would end with not a single disturbance. That was until he heard the familiar chime of his store front door.

                The clerk’s gaze was high at first, expecting a red faced adult or a rambunctious teen. Nothing. He pauses and looks slowly down, to meet eyes of a young boy. The boy was no older than 5, clothes tattered and worn. From some of the holes, the man could see a few bruises and bandages. The boy’s hair was very crudely teased, he could tell from the occasional curly hair flicking out. When their eyes met, he could see what looked to be an infection in one of the boy’s eye, making it look red. But out of all this boy’s features, the most striking was his skin. It was green! Green as a leaf! Green as money! Green as a turd!

‘How in the world did this boy get green skin?’ The shopkeeper thought ‘... And why does he remind me of someone?’

The man decided to not ponder this and instead address the boy.

              “Bit late for a young chap to be out an’ about, wouldn’t ya say?” The clerk asked as the boy walking past his counter. He didn’t even give a glance, he simply walked into the nearest aisle and started scanning the shelves. The clerk huffed and shrugged his shoulders, now awake he peered back to his naughty Penny-dreadful, not caring about the company he had in his store.

               The boy didn’t have time to talk to some old sod, he was on a mission. The boy’s mismatched eyes roamed the aisles, looking for specific items. He had one hand in his pocket and another swinging back and forth. Before his hand would reach for an item, he would look at each end of the aisle, just in case that crusty dimwit was there.

               When he was done, he returned to the checkout area. The old man flinched slightly when a carton of milk and a box of crackers were shoved right in his face, as if he forgot about his young customer. He looked over his counter and peered at the little one.

“You better ‘ave good money fer this.” The clerk warned.

               The boy nodded and the clerk started to ring him up. As he added up the milk and crackers prices, his mind wandered back to trying to figure out why this child was so familiar to him. He gave the kid a price and he shuffled through his pockets, taking out the change he needed. The elder suspected he would have to count it out for him, but to his surprise the boy already did so and give him the precise amount.

“Quiet the smart little man ya are.” The man commented. He was met with silence.

The man put his items in the bag, but stopped just before handing it to the boy.

“I got it! I know who ya are!” The old geezer said, snapping his fingers.  “Yer dad, ‘is name is Sebastian, in’t it? Or was it Jacob?”

               The man could have sworn that he saw the boy’s face go pale at the mention of his father’s name, but it must have been his imagination. The boy looked away from his face, clearly not wanting this conversation. The old knob pressed on though.

“Yeah! Yer dad’s stumbled in ‘ere a few time. All pissed up an’ shouting about ‘is life an’ ‘is brats. Told me he ‘ad two ‘em. One was called Hannibal, the other… the other was… let me think…”

The boy’s gaze moved away from the floor and to the pondering old man, a gaze that was very shirty.

               “Hm… Oh! Yes! Murdoc! The other was called Murdoc! ‘ow could I forget that one? Sebastian complained about ‘im the most. Goin’ on about ‘ow he’s a good for nothin’ freeloader. Always causin’ trouble an’ he wishes he was never left on ‘is stoop.” The man eyed the child. “That wouldn’ ‘appen ta be you would it?”

                Murdoc didn’t answer, he just leered at the aging fuck and stuck out his arm, making it clear he wanted his items more than this conversation. The man huffed and handed over the bag.

                “Didn’ mean ta get you all miffed son, jus’ tryin’ ta ‘ave a chin wag. ‘Ey! At least you ain’t as skint as your dear old dad, eh?” The old man laughs, Murdoc turns to leave. He stops when the man calls to him. “Oi! Those are some odd names yer family ‘as! Sebastian, Hannibal and Murdoc? Hah! Whot’s ya mum’s name? Bloody Mary!”

                The laugh the old fuck gives this time is louder. Murdoc turns his head around to the man that was practically leaning over his check out station with tears in his eyes, cackling away. Murdoc waited for his laughter to mellow out a bit so that his next words could be heard.

“Wouldn’ know.” Murdoc stated “Never met me mum.”

                Murdoc smiled slightly as he walked out the store, leaving a bewildered cashier frozen in place. After getting over the initial uncomfortableness, he righted himself up and peered back at his filthy magazine, grumbling.

“Little bugger…” He mumbled “No better than ‘is sodding father…”

                Murdoc began the long trek out of that daft neighborhood and back to the outer rim of Stoke-On-Trent where his home was. He turns a corner into an alley, taking a shortcut. As he walks, he unzips his coat and licks his lips. Oh, what treasures he got this time! One by one he would take out an unpaid item and examine it. A deck of card, some hard candies, a top, a dark chocolate bar, a toy car, some bandaids and a guitar pic.

                The next stash of treasures were for his brother. A roll of film, hair gel and a small pocket knife. Murdoc grumbled, remembering how his brother broke the last one. Murdoc probably should have taken the hint after the 21st time Hannibal warned him that if he kept “playing” his cardboard box guitar, which was really just him making fake loud guitar noises, there would be consequences. Of course, Murdoc ignored him, and by 22nd time Hannibal bursted into his room wielding the pocket knife. For a split second, Murdoc was scared that Hannibal was going to aim the blade at him. It wouldn’t really have been that surprising though. In fact, it was in those situations that his other knives broke. But this time Hannibal started stabbing the fake guitar Murdoc dropped, again and again, until it was a crumpled mess. It didn’t matter how much Murdoc screamed and begged him to stop or that by the end he was stabbing the ground, his assault only subsided when the blade broke from the handle, leaving it jabbed firmly into the wooden floor. While sobbing, Murdoc could hear Hannibal threaten that if he could not replace his pocket knife, he would end up in the same state as his cardboard box guitar.

                Murdoc didn’t know if Hannibal’s threat was genuine or not. Hannibal was a lazy and dumb nine year old, most of the time never finishing what he started. So half the time his threats would never be carried out. But on the other hand, Hannibal could do what he said he would and more, so to not take any chances, he got him his bloody knife. Hopefully it wouldn’t really get bloody from his own one day.

                 But where as Hannibal’s threats were only sometimes taken seriously, his father’s were always held as completely true. Because they always were. Murdoc shivered, not from the cold air, but from what might have happened to him if he did not complete the task put to him by his father when he sent him to the store. Murdoc took out the items his father demanded from him one by one, just to triple check that he had truly gotten everything he asked for. Some meds that his father didn’t need but said he did, a razor, some foot cream, some John Thomas cream, a nail file, hook shiner and most importantly, a pack of cigarettes.

                  The cigarettes seemed to have trigger another memory. Somehow even worse than the last. One night, while Hannibal and his father watched a football match, Murdoc walked in and examined their behavior. Hannibal would yell “Fuck me ragged!” when his betting team scored, and then yelled “Fuck me!” when the other did. Sebastian was just silent, he never really got into this stuff, but he had 200 pounds staked on this game. Which meant that if his team won, he would come home drunk for a couple of nights. If his team lost, that meant he would beat the crap out of Murdoc for a couple of nights. Either situation would spell bad news for him. Murdoc didn’t want to enter the living room, for fear that a bottle of plock would be lobbed at his head. He watched the bottles move back and forth from his father’s and brother’s face and back to it’s resting place. The others stayed resting in their place on the floor, only moving when a foot kicked one. The other moving objects were their cigarette, doing the similar motion of the bottle.

                  The two were very similar, in Murdoc’s eyes, because when you saw his family members, most of the time they had one or both items. Murdoc wondered why the two older males were so dependent on them. His observations led him to understand that whenever they had those things, they would calm down a bit and smile more. Until they had too much and calmness became shambolic rage. After understanding this, Murdoc, with his mind not necessarily innocent, but still very young, decided he wanted to calm down a bit and smile more.

                  When he was sure that his brother and father were completely engrossed in their game, he tiptoed his way into the kitchen. He took a chair from the table they never ate at and pushed it against the kitchen counter. He crawls his way up and pulls out the kitchen drawer next to him, from it he took out a lighter and a bottle cap opener. He knew what everything was, where it was and how to get it simply from his father asked him to do this action everyday. He almost makes the mistake of hopping off the chair, surely attracting attention with the noise. Instead, he daintily crawls off the chair and walked toward the fridge.

                 Opening it a crack so that the light doesn’t blare out of the kitchen, he reaches his little arm to the nearest brown and green bottle. He softly closes the fridge door and walks to the table. He places the bottle opener and lighter on the table and reached down to his foot. Out of his gross, smelly, torn sock he picked out a single crinkled cigarette. Repeating the action of sticking it between his pointing and middle finger that he saw his father do so many times, and fumbling a bit, he pressed it to his mouth and held it there with his lips. He got on his tippy toes to grab the bottle opener on the creaky table, and once again taking pointers from his father, popped the cap off the bottle.

                  Swapping the bottle opener for the lighter, it took him a few tries before he could successfully flick the light on, burning his tiny finger in the process. He wanted to scream in pain, but he held back. It wasn’t hard, he learned how to not cry in intense pain from experiencing a lot of it. Crying made his father even more vicious.

                   He held the fire to the end of the fag and light it. He places the lighter back on the table and paused. He knew what he had to do but something was holding him back. That thing was fear. But of what? Fear of what this would do to him? Fear of if it would or wouldn’t help? Fear of his dad finding out? It was probably a mixture of those fears, leaving him paralyzed, not breathing or moving. But soon fear was replaced by anger. Anger at himself for facing unbelievable amounts of fear by getting up in the morning and still have the energy to keep going. Murdoc felt constant fear, but he never let it get to him, or so he told himself. But this was the one that would keep him from what he wants? No. His pain was inevitable, so why deny himself this pleasure? He was strong! He was brilliant! He was as great as the king! He was as great as a God! He was a God! Reassuring himself he takes a long deep breath in on the cigarette.

                   And immediately regrets it when a sudden twang of gross smoke goes from his mouth, down his windpipe, to his lungs and back again, leaving him a coughing fit. The smoke that came out of his mouth like he was a cartoon character that just ate something super hot.

                    Now, Murdoc’s father had often spoken of Hell. While it wasn’t spoken in the tone of those raving lunatics on the streets, telling all that they were going to Hell if they do not reach salvation, or those knobish preachers that give their sermons to mugs, telling them they’d have to suck off God or something, else they don’t end up in Hell, there were similarities. He spoke of fire and ash, a place of eternal pain and where no one can save you. But unlike those slag preachers that say there’s hope, Sebastian never gave hope to anyone, especially Murdoc. Sebastian told Murdoc that no one was safe, that all would go to Hell because all were sinners no matter how “pure” they seemed. God was a nobody that didn’t care for his “children,” like Sebastian didn’t care about his. No, the only true way of living was by Beelzebubs rules. From Sebastian’s point of view, that meant living the philosophy of Hedonism. To strive for nothing but pleasure in life and not care what morals or consequences one may encounter, at least, that’s how Sebastian explained it. Sebastian was very good at that, never caring if the people around himself were affected negatively by his actions, as long as they made him happy. Sebastian said that as long as they lived life to the fullest, the man downstairs would give them a full afterlife. Where every deadly sin would be accepted and valued. They could have as many brods to shag, more food than they ever had in life and could torture those cock ups that preached their God would save their grotty souls. They would burn in the fire and ash.

               Just as Murdoc’s respiratory system was burning in fire and ash. Hell truly did exist, in Murdoc’s throat, and the Devil was having a grand time. Murdoc searched desperately for relief, the kitchen fauset was busted and he couldn’t run all the way up to the bathroom for water. His only option was the drink in his hand. Stilling his coughing long enough to press the bottles rims to his mouth, he took a great chug of it.

               Then Hell moved from his lungs to his stomach, burning and gross. It sloshed around down there and went back up to is throat and out his mouth, all over the already dirty kitchen floor. Murdoc left his first puke mark on the floor, along side his other family members. The coughing returned and seemed to go on forever, tears filling his eyes, a mixture of snot and stomach juice dripped out of his nose. When it started to die down, he was hunched over, and used one hand to whip the tears out of his eyes and nose funk away from his mouth. He stared at the brown and green chunky mess he made on the floor, the cigarette he dropped floating in it. He felt lucky to be alive.

                But then didn’t when he heard an older, colder and familiar voice ask “What are you doing?”

                Murdoc turned his head so quick you could have sworn he snapped it and saw his father staring at him from the doorway, with his arms crossed, miffed. He righted himself quickly, bottle still in hand, and tried very hard to find the right words that would make the inevitable beating less intense.

“D-D-D- Dad! I m-mean Sir! I mean- I- I- I- I didn’- i-i’s not- I-I mean it is b-but- P-P- Please don’- I- I- I was jus’- I’ll- I’ll- I’ll put it ba- I-I’m sorry!”

Murdoc attempted to put the bottle back in the fridge, but was cut short by his father speaking again.

“Don’t you dare put that away!” Murdoc froze, his hand still on the fridge handle. His father pointed at the cigarette swirling in his sick. “Pick up that fag.”

                Murdoc paused, looking from the cancer stick to his father, then back again. He did not want to touch something that was covered in his bodily fluids, but when he looked back at his father, whose face was clearly losing patience, he didn’t waste anymore time. He quivered at the smell of his own puke, like a diseased pumpkin threw up in a diseased pigs arse, that ate diseased brusselsprouts, therefor shatting diseased crap with the diseased pumpkin puke. The feel of it was like a rotting slug had a baby with a rotting crocodile and the rotting baby had some sweating and dermatology issues, and was rotting. He was careful not to spill the vile liquid in his hand.  

“Now put it back in your mouth and take another drag.” Murdoc’s father commanded. “And after that, take another swish of that beer.”

Murdoc looked at his father, then to the baccy and then to the pig swill. Finally he spoke. “But… But I don’ wanna…”

“And I don’t want a sodding failure for a son! But look what I got!” Sebastian boomed, making Murdoc jump. “That was a perfectly good smoke and beer, and you ruined them! Just like you ruin everything else! Now you are going to finish both, or you’re throwing up your insides next!”

              Murdoc was wide eyed, his stare remaining on his father, wondering why he was telling him to do the thing he presumed he would be punished for. But seeing no way out, he took the cigarette back in his mouth and had another drag. The coughing and tears returned and it burned twice as hard. Murdoc tried his tactic again of washing it down with beer, but again, it did not work and made things worse. More groote substances escaped his stomach and mouth, hurting more as it came out. Now it was starting to give him a headache, making him sob.  

              “Oh sweet satan! You’re so daft you can’t even drink and smoke right! Don’t cry! What are you a bird?” Murdoc stilled his tears at his father’s words. “You are not going to grow up to be some bender that can’t even keep company properly! In fact…” Sebastian left the kitchen, leaving Murdoc standing in his own sick. A few minutes past, it sounded like a zoo was going through the house, floorboards being stripped away, furniture being ripped apart, his brother screaming “OI!” presumably from his father taking something from him, and then getting slugged in the face for being cheeky, and Murdoc could have sworn a donkey was involved at some point. When Sebastian finally came back, his upper half was obscured by boxes of alcohol and tobacco. He couldn’t understand how his father could have that much and still say he was flat broke, perhaps he saved it all for a special occasion? Well the occasion was now.  

“You’re going to drink and smoke all of this until you get it right!” Sebastian informed, dropping it all on the table, nearly breaking it. Murdoc stared at the pill, gobsmacked.

“... A… All that?”

“All that!”

            Murdoc looked around, trying to find a satan cursed answer to what the hell was going on! Murdoc didn’t know much about what a normal household was like, but he could guess from television and observing the families in the houses down the road, watching them eat and salivating at the meals he would never have in his house. This very thing would be considered severely wrong and highly punishable. Yet, here his father was telling him to do it again ten fold.

“Are…” Murdoc didn’t know why he was promoted to ask this question. “Are ya punishin’ me for stealin’ from ya or fer huffin’ an’ drinkin’?”

Sebastian’s hardened his eyes at Murdoc, in a way that made Murdoc believe ever word of what he said next.

“I’m punishing you for being born.”

          After that Murdoc didn’t ask anymore questions and did what he was told, snookered. He drank and smoked for hours, it didn’t matter how much he cried or how much he threw up, he just kept going. He only stopped when he blacked out, and woke up in his pavement pizza, practically showered in it, the next morning with a splitting headache. His brother stepped over him in order to get to the fridge, laughing and congratulating him on having his first hangover. He couldn’t find the strength to get up, so he just layed there, smelly and weeping. He laid there until midday, finally finding the strength to get up on his wobbly legs and slowly make his way back to his room. On the way, he saw his dad, sitting at his normal spot on the couch, watching another game, not even turning his head to acknowledge his son, with another beer and cigarette.  

At that moment, Murdoc wished he had never been born.

[mugler88]

Every Single Rupauls Drag Race Queen Ranked from 1 to 100 by David Mason You will notice as thece list goes it runs from HARSH to KIND being that we go from people who are wasting our time and perhaps not living an honest fantasy but trying to be something they FEEL they're SUPPOSED to be and talented artists who capture us as they reveal beautifully honest selves which bloom from their unconscious. The Top 25 are ICONIC GOLD and are identities who hold their own amongst all the queens. They are APEX PREDATORS and each could arguably be made number one depending on each persons values. This is MY list and therefore it reflects my values and needs. 100. Phi Phi O’Hara Shes actually the worst for being a horrible person who cant figure out why shes terrible and thats the worst part. I actually BOOED her in public when I saw her. Is it wrong to not like someone just because they were born??? I think it probably is BUT I dont like Phi-Phi because when they showed her mom her mom was like 26 and I just thought YUCK, unplanned pregnancy is just TACKY and I wouldnt have to deal with you if your mom just had the balls to own her own body and be responsible and kind to the Earth and abort you but apparently the apple doesnt fall far from the (say this in Goldie Hawn from Overboard voice) “short, fat, slut" and you come from a long line of short selfish inconsiderate people. Phi-phi is the best case as to why Planned Parenthood should be next to every McDonalds. 99. Kenya Michaels : Oh god Im disturbed by her. She was like that little doll from Trilogy of terror. I found her strong sexual identity so uncomfortable as it was just too obviously a defense mechanism from being a tiny rapeable person from a third world territory. Thats AWFUL to say but Im sorry its just what I saw. I didnt find it funny or sexy. I found it awful and cringy. Its NOT a reason to not like a person but it is a reason as to why I dont want to see her on my tv bending over and WAGGING HER TWAT at me. I dont want to celebrate her complex attempt at molestation management, Im sorry. Lets hope this is me just projecting. I know this is too much for the SECOND entry but Im just saying what I felt. I wish shed read a book instead of just GOING WITH THE SEX THING. 98. Kandy Ho: What gross name, what a skank not even a good skank like Samantha Fox, just a shitty skank. 97. Phoenix: Who? I really have to speed through this list I have to go to the gym. 96. Madame LaQueer: Id put her at 99 but I feel bad for her. Im a nice person. 95. Alisa Summers: i have no idea who this person is 94. Penny Tration: Oh fuck you for that stupid name. Get the fuck outta here. 93.Vivienne Pinay: Why did she think she was pretty or passable or fishy or WHAT? All I saw was “Hi, Can I get the lunch special? I’ll have tai Iced tea with Rad Prik Chicken and coconut soup. Thank you.” 92. Venus D-Lite: Venus is who I think of when I think of queens that dont matter. I didnt even say that to be mean. She just is. 91. Jaidynn Diore Fierce: ??? oh she was the one I think should be named PEANUT. 90. Naysha Lopez: What plane of consciousness thought this person needed to be seen? 89. Sasha Belle: Awkward entry! Rip off Mugler Chimera dress. HERES A TIP PEOPLE, dont try and copy the most amazing well made dress in the world that cost 300k to make and 900 years of 900 year old Parisian couturiers to make. I PROMISE YOUR VERSION WONT BE AS GOOD. If youre going to copy something also make sure said reference has a TEENSY bit of wiggly room for either styling OR improvement. The Mugler Chimeira dress does NOT. Stop looking at it, you cant have it. 88. Akashia: Maybe the first person to fall on the runway??? I dont know? I dont remember her exactly 87. Rebecca Glasscock: I went shopping with Ru once at Saks and a sales girl came up and said “Rebecca works here now!” Ru went from Cafe au lait to FISHBELLY faster than she could mutter... “Rebecca is here?…....now?” thank god the girl was like “Not today”… Cocoa pallor regenerated, shopping recommenced. Rebecca must have been INSANE. 86. Honey Mahogany: Who and Why and whatever…. 85. Derrick Barry: Nope. 84. Robbie Turner: I wish you were Tina Turner 83.Cynthia Lee Fontaine:The cowboy look was like a THANKSGIVING revelation that GRANPA IS A CROSS DRESSER?!?! 82. Darienne Lake: Dip into the cool water of Darienne Lake was the best thing about her and that was Rus doing so.. BYE and shes from like Rochester or some shit. YUCK mid/western New York is SKANK. 81. Ginger Minj: Just everything I don't appreciate. 80. BeBe Zahara Benet: She won season one and I think the prize was 10k and it shoulda gone to Nina. 79. Bob the Drag Queen: After the extraordinarily beautiful Violet won. The audience of sheep were put off by their inability to relate to her because they just arent as good as her so the next season they wrote the season about having a “peoples princess” win and that why we have SHITTY BOB the person who shouldnt have ever been invited. Whats WORSE and MORE ANNOYING is the LATENT worship of Violet after they realized JUST HOW GOOD SHE WAS ONCE THEY SAW BOB and Im sitting here with my fists clenched screaming YOU IDIOTS THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT?!?!?! Bobs season was the worst. 78. Delta Work: Shes the drag queens drag queen. Shes too bitter for tv though. Same reason as to why Jackie Beat isnt on tv, too sour for tv, but thats ok. There is certainly somethig to have the cache of being the type of queen you have to go out to see. When she botched the comedy challenge I felt for her. I could really relate. She has the comic ability and you could just hear the inner dialogue of self sabotage running in her mind. It sucked. Thats one of my challenges too. 77. Thorgy Thor: Funny smart queen that I like. Tv isnt a format that suits her. 76. Sahara Davenport : A sweet soul. 75. Yara Sofia: Ick… The best example of LEARN TO EDIT. Her styling is THE GOOP SHOW. You know how some people just have BAD VIBES? I just dont want her around me. I dont see her vibes swirling in a direction I wanna head towards. I kinda hate dreads, Id lie and not say it to sound cool but there just unsavory to me. Patchouli.. thats what I smell when I see them in my minds eye.They just make me ask.. Why do you deliberately choose to be kinda not so clean? Its some romantic notion I don't prescribe too. Im not earthy in that way. Im Earthy in a watermelons are fierce kinda way. 74. Kelly Mantle: This person is not Christine Baranski! Why are you telling me youre related to a baseball player like Im supposed to care? 73. Magnolia Crawford: ahahahahahahahahahah... that poor homosexual. He MIGHT be more disliked than phi-phi. THAT NOSE gets points.. it HAD to be a critique on nose contour right?! Does anyone ACTUALLY know her?! I feel like this might be some weird dare that a straight guy did and made it on the show. It was all so WEIRD?! 72. Jade. I really dont remember a damn thing but kinda thought she was a nice person maybe??? errr ummmm I just shrugged my shoulders to myself. 71. Lanaysha Sparks: She was quite lovely and even surprisingly talented on the craft contest but not knowing who Diana Ross is and your a drag queen is SATANISM. Poor bitch is from Puerto Rico, do you now Puerto Rico is twice as poor as the poorest state? That sucks. 70.Laila McQueen: Is this an OSBORNE CHILD?? Had she been on previous seasons she would have faired better. Seemed like a kid Id hire as an intern and could trust. 69. Serena ChaCha Oh my god Serena snook right by me?!?! AHAHAHAHAH Serena! Worst look of ALL TIME. how was SHE an art school student?! I cringed when she said that as Im an art school kiid and was like NO NO NOPE TAKE IT BACK CLOSE YOUR MOUTH! Serena was the victim of QUEEN ON QUEEN GANG BULLYING and what was worse is AMERICA BACKED THE GANG RAPE. It was like that scene in The Dark Crystal when the Skeksi looses the sword challenge and they all tear the clothes of him and banish him! Alyssa WENT IN on her….Coco even got a piece of Serena that day! Serena is lucky to be alive. 68. Jasmine Masters: Im disturbed by my own ability to impersonate Jasmine Masters. Its not THAT GOOD but its better than a 225lb Pollock should be able to do. Her Slinky worm routine makes me GIGGLE. She is ANGRY…...BLACK RAGE which I kinda appreciate in a way. I get it. I have gay rage so why cant she have BLACK RAGE?! 67. Tempest DuJour awww tempest.. We all like Tempest. Kinda funny shes a costume design teacher though no? She gave my husband a shirt and my husband wore it for her all day in Provincetown because my husband is like the sweetest person ever. I mean people were like “TEMPEST DU JOUR?!” they practically SPIT on him and he still wore it and he tagged her in the photo and she didnt even regram lolololol My poor husband, I love him so much. 66. The Princess: I made a comment about the Princess' look being shitty on Instagram once and all her fans went APESHIT. It was the two nastiest messages I ever deleted. 65. Monica Beverly Hillz I shoulda put her farther back. She was not so great. 64. Vivacious: Awwww the old battle axe of drag. I support her endaevor but her looks were so dated. I do however respect her respect for the art so… 63. Lashauwn Beyond: That name is so real. You can say she sucks but you can also say shes the spirit of drag taking you “up" so let her be. 62. Mrs. Kasha Davis: WOAH boy did she sneak by me?! She must have got here EARLY and just WAITED. She sucked so hard you kinda loved her for being honest. Kasha was like your olde gay neighbor whos taste level sucks but you respect her because she went through the AIDS crisis and is still smiling. Not even kidding. 61. BenDeLaCreme: I just did not like her. 60. Pandora Boxx: Oh god Pandora. Did you see that Unicorn video she made… bless this bitch. 59. Shangela Laquifa Wadley: Shangela was just cheap. Shangela is like the same taste level as like Paula Abdul, Mad Tv, Khols, a Sketchers Sneaker… I just never like what she does. I dont need it. Its poor person humor. Just because you say something LOUDLY doesnt make it more funny. ( as I type in CAPS) 58. Roxxxy Andrews: This poor bitch dug a damn hole… You know shes not likeable because she was shadey but she was more talented then anticipated in the creative challeges, and I thought she had nice skin. My husband HATES HER. 57. Kim Chi: One note. Refrigerator being pushed down a runway. I actually dont like her for not having the courage to be out to her parents. Its insulting to the rest of us. Buck up bitch, your mom already knows, shes known since you were 2. The fact you think she doesnt know is INSANE. Your non outness renders any talent moot. 56. Adore Delano: Thanks but Ive been to Hot Topic, NEXT. 55: Acid Betty: I don't remember much about the 00S BUT I STILL REMEMBER THOSE WIGS. 54. Courtney Act: Ok sure, but wheres the interesting part???? Her finale dress that was like rainbow hologram acetate was cool and nobody even mentioned it. 53. Trixie Mattel: I tried so hard to be nice to her in Provincetown and she was a cunt. Why are you a cunt to someone being NICE to you? 52. Coco Montrese : I could say mean shit but I wont. shes worked long and hard and deserves a clap. Shes not even a cunt. shes out of touch but shes from another world. Respect your elders. 51. Dida Ritz: Talk about out of touch. Her weird self loathing “Im a white girl” routine turned me into Jasmine Masters?! Like EWWW NO, learn to love yourself BITCH. We all know she did one of the best lip synchs ever. 50. Stacy Layne Matthews: Wait shes NOT black?!??? She was from BACK SWAMP, that gets TREMENDOUS "SWAMP CRED" She was so fat her hormones were just like "WHATEVER.. theres simply "NOT ENOUGH of us to go around?! WE DONT KNOW WHERE TO GO.. What do you wanna be today??? When was the last time youve seen your genitals because are you SURE youre still a male?? We dont know and could use some DIRECTION?!” and I appreciate that. I like people who are just like IM WHATEVER. Not everyone has to be a male or a female you know. 49. Jade Jolie: Jade is surprisingly the fishiest queen in my opinion. I saw her at the premiere party before her season started and we honestly thought she might be BIOLOGICAL. This holds some cache in an art of trying to be a woman at least SOMEWHAT. She made the unfortunate mistake of becoming Alyssas ENEMY which at the time was ACTUALLY kinda necessary because if you remember when Alyssa first started she was not the Alyssa we know and love and was kinda of a cunt who needed to get CLOCKED. BACK ROLLS has now been mutters a million times by ME ALONE and lets be honest WERE ALL now VERY CONSCIOUS of our back rolls now. I even got COOL SCULPTING and yes it worked. It works if youre like semi normal with a slight love handle or backroll but not if you have a spare tire because then its just like removing a brick from a wall, and no it didnt hurt, but get it done in Florida because procedures are cheaper there. Florida is basically LAWLESS, they also gave me a VITAMIN DRIP as I did it. That is not legal in NYC. Jade had horrible style and made what looked like NAZI MATRIX PORN but dont imagine that in a good sorta Night Porter chic Nazi way. Imagine it as a black vinyl raincoat that that greasy haired kid in high school who wasnt allowed to be a faggot because you already had that role and did it better so he sorta segued into FETISH GOTH would have and now imagine him filming himself masturbating with a NON APPLE iPhone to a Marilyn Mason poster… That was her porn. 48. Sonique: Sonique is responsible for one of the wisest self realizations to ever surface on RPDR to me. After getting the chop she said something along the lines of “Well I guess theres more to life than being better than everyone.” YUP. Stop competing, life isnt a competition. You do you and thats your challenge, forget about everyone elses storyline. 47. Mystique Summers Madison: DANGEROUS PERSON but such good TV. To me it seems Mystique has the kind of tongue that can only tell lies, which is sad because that means she thinks whatever the truth is is so terrible she has to come up with an alternative. Thats unfortunate. That said I dont want her in my home. If she lies to herself and others this means she feels she doesnt have to play by the rules and probably steals. Did I just imagine her a thief? Yes, I did. I imagined her at a party at my house slipping one of my Versace candy dishes in her pocket WITH THE SOUR PATCH KIDS STILL IN IT. 46. Gia Gunn: Gia to me really is the sorta line between the queens you care about and the queens you take the opportunity to go get a drink while they come on stage. I took my two assistants on that Drag Cruise as a present and I cant remember what exactly happened but somebodies sneakers were TEMPORARILY ABDUCTED and Gia was UNNFUCKED and SURLY ABOUT IT. Gia on the show was half gross and half awesome. I feel shed LIKE to be nice but has so much DEFENSIVE ANGER she can't. Its a mistake as shed be much more successful if she got over that. She really feels herself despite having a wonky eye, really short legs, and likening herself to Talapia and aligning herself to TIM GUNN??? Your fashion references are from TV????!… OH GURL… NO!.… I like her though. Shes a talented performer. I feel like Gia is that friend you have thats sorta like a bad dog on leash. You have to be careful with them when around kind people but theyre also helpful because theyre more than eager to be the bad guy if someone is bugging you. We all have that friend and theyre kinda fierce. 45. Mariah. Mariah walked into the room first episode and I thought DAMN shes FIERCE... and then she never looked that good again. If I was just going by tv, which Im 98% going by shed be placed lower BUT I saw her on that drag cruise and her performance was PERFECT. It was CLASSIC DRAG but executed flawlessly and she was nice when we got stuck in the elevator with her. I feel like she thinks she has to be mean or fierce or whatever when shed actually be more well received if she was the person I saw on the cruise who was down to Earth and chill. 44. Milan: Milan is one of the few New York Queens that Ive ACTUALLY SEEN OUT. These other queens im always like NEW YORK? NEW YORK WHERE?!? Im a third generation new Yorker who has lived here 18 years on my own and Ive never seen most of these queens who claim to be from NYC. Milan is nice and a talented performer. I was never into her drag because shes real STAGE oriented and real JULIARD STYLE ( I dunno if she actually went there) and thats just not my interest but she at least TRIED. 43. Dax ExclamationPoint: I feel Dax sorta made a mistake pigeon holing herself as “Queen of the nerds”, as soon as someone claims identity of something on camera queens for some reason HATE IT. I imagine its some kind of projected self loathing as gays are trained to hate themselves. Like how dare YOU assert yourself as something, you CANT do that youre a faggot. I seriously think this is the unconscious voice in 98 percent of gay guys heads and its why so many are self sabotaging or drug addicts and why there is no such thing as a gay gay icon and even kinda why DRAG EXISTS AT ALL. We cant like ourselves because straight society taught us to hate ourselves so we put it all onto a fantastic woman. Dax seems like a nice person who doesnt have that insane person need to “win” and therefore really shouldnt have been on the show as she just got used as sacrifice for hungrier queens. 42. Kennedy Davenport: Wait did I already do Kennedy Davenport because I really didnt like her??? huh I guess I didnt. Well maybe my unconscious mind liked her more than my reptile ego did and she got placed higher than anticipated. How can you hate on a hard working talent who has a retarded sister she has to support?! Jesus christ give the bitch a tip and never do less than a FIVE when tipping queens people A DOLLAR IS THE SAME THING AS A QUARTER! 41. India Ferrah: Oh god I worry saying mean things about India because I dont want to hurt her feelings as worry that she TEETERS ON SANITY but she to me is what drag is WHEN I DONT LIKE DRAG. Her “combat contour” is brutalist to the point of being vulgar. To me her styling concept is PUT EVERYTHING YOU OWN ON NOW BECAUSE MAYBE WE NEED TO RUN OUT THE DOOR AFTERWARD. I mean its the 8 foot braid with a giant bow, and the top hat, and the body stocking, and the thigh high boot, and the breast plate, now a giant necklace to cover the edge of the fake boobs, now put a spider SUCKLING THE TIT of the breastplate, oh wait I have TWO BOOBS and I NEED ANOTHER SPIDER, now add a couple jewels to the eyes of the spider OH WAIT spiders have six eyes so add four more… now what about belts, I only have TWELVE…. 40. Mimi Imfurst: OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!?! She fucking CAPTURED India ferrah like some kind of MOUNTAIN TROLL?!?!? That was one of the most amazingly insane moments on TV ever! Then when Raven WENT IN on her in All Stars …omg I have that segment saved on my phone and just watch it when I need to feel “myself” again. Mimi on the cruise actually did the best read on the Michelle Visage roast. Shes smart but lets her inner voices get the best of her. We all have inner voices but I feel chubby people are chubby because the voices are louder. Im not even saying it to be a dick but it seems like with people who suffer from body issues LIKE ME the inner voices are so LOUD you can see them reacting to them on their face. Hang around me long enough and you'll totally see this. This is called being a function insane person! 39. Morgan McMichaels: Ahhh the Morgan McMonkey! Did you know shes actually Scottish, like from Scotland? That didnt come off on the show. Ok Morgan to me is interesting because as a person Morgan is just not my kinda person, she even has a SUPERMAN TATTOO and you know how much I hate Superman as to me he is the OPPOSITE OF CREATIVITY and a HERO TO SHEEP but that does NOT discount her talents. Ive seen her perform live and shes VERY good. Do I want to hang with her NO, is she a solid talent YES. I met her once and she tried to tell me she doesnt eat pork because PIGS DONT HAVE KIDNEYS. She said this while chain smoking cigarettes and drinking heavily… hmmmm. I dont even know how to organize the judgements I have. All this said I feel if Morgan was your friend you could trust her and shed definitely not be afraid of taking a hit to defend you. 38. April Carrion: She is the best example of being chopped too soon. Shes very talented and pretty and makes her own looks and I respect her abilities. She had more to offer as Ive seen other looks of hers and they were good. Too much of a shrinking violet to survive a comepetition. Shes quite lovely Im surprised she hasnt got some rich old benefactor. 37. Nicole Paige Brooks Oh my fuckin god Nicole Paige Brooks?!?!? Nicole is so important as she is SO MANY THINGS. Nicole is the ESSENCE OF REGIONAL TALENT. She is THE small town coke head faggot drag queen WE ALL KNOW. My mom would have had her on PROBATION. The spirit that has possessed Nicoles body is an ancient spirit which haunts every rural gay bar! Remember how she had the hots for Raven and also had FRECH TIP TOENAILS?!…That BODY built EXCLUSIVELY by COCAINE. Ugh.. Ive never even seen Nicole but I know her sooo well. Nicole has that IVE BEEN TO PRISON and ALSO HAVE CHILDREN and ALSO HAVE A CLOSETED BLACK BOYFRIEND vibe that is SO PURE. Nicole is the queen who marches in the regional gay pride parade wearing flat sandals and a bikini and ACCEPTS TIPS while she does it! Nicole might also work at BEST BUY when “O.D” (out of drag). and when in drag theres also the worry that she might ACTUALLY O.D. Nicole is important. 36. Carmen Carrera: Ok Carmen is from Jersey where its NOT EASY to be a gay soul. Carmen once tried to tell me its ok that straight guys call you a faggot there because its not an isult its just what you are… EEEESSSSHKKK That is some HARDCORE Stockholm Syndrome. I could say more but its none of my damn business. Im not crazy about Carmen because I think shes made some choices based on where shes from but thats none of my damn business so I’ll shut the fuck up. To me Carmen is an example of an unfortunate situation. Ive had to deal with those hardened Jersey boys as a kid and as a tender gay boy its NOT A NICE THING and it would have been easier for me if I was just a girl too. Yes shes pretty, I wish her happiness. If I was raised where she was maybe I would have killed myself. In a way she sorta did I guess but also rebirthed herself.. maybe I need to give her more credit. Im going to add this. Most of us have to deal with being a "faggot" in a straight world and deal with it however we choose. I for example fetishisize it as for me its a safe place thats at least exciting as its FIERCE to have your hot husband call you a faggot as he bangs your puss hole out. At least that way youre dealing with the anxiety in a safe place and its HOT its also a lot easier than getting a sex change, pretending it never happened, and siding with your abusers in an effort to make the best of a bad situation. Maybe Ive made the wrong choice, see instead of siding with them and changing my sex I went punk and just write horrible things about them on St Patricks day and work out a lot so I can intimidate them on the street. SIDENOTE I have NEVER had someone make an anti gay comment to me when they're by themselves, have you ever noticed that? The comments are only made when youre out numbered... fuckin pussies. 35. Jiggly Caliente: Jiggly is real. 34. Victoria "Porkchop” Parker: Porkchop must be worshipped as she was sacrificed for all our sins. 32. Ivy Winters: Nobody ever put it together that Ivy Winters looks almost identical to Grace Jones AND Jean Kasem. That is POWERFUL MAGIC. Too bad she didnt know it either because if she channeled that spirit she could have won this thing so damn easy. 31. Pearl: 31. Tatiana: The day Tati steps away from low brow nineties references and learns to kick is the day Tati advances much farther. She NEVER uses her legs and her legs are AMAZING?! I wish she woulda had the self confidence to get tougher on Raven when Raven attacked her on her season because it was so clear that Raven was operating out of total jealousy being both have great beauty but for Tati it was effortless and for Raven its four hours of incredibly skilled painting. Tati was too green to have that wisdom. If she had it…ooooohhhhh it woulda been FUHEEEEIRCE! 30. Laganja Estranja: Oh god… I dont have the mental capacity at this point to go into the psyche of Laganja…Laganja is so important. Laganja is the litmus for bad faggotry because shes ACTUALLY TALENTED, shes got an amazing body, but OH GOD shes a nightmare. You can tell her parents felt guilty and coddled and spoiled their baby gay into a place where the only way she now knows how to operate is to be a needy indulged victim. Her comedy routine with the old people was a SURREALIST MASTER PIECE. Get off drugs laganja, they dont make you cool and needing the crutch of a vice does not a personality make. 29: Jinkx Monsoon: Does anyone else remember how bad she was at the beginning of her season??? She got the ONLY edit and they spun her into a storyline where theres was no way she could loose. Ive seen this storyline somewhere and it was called PRETTY IN PINK. They basically realized she both Molly Ringwalds character AND the Ducky character at the same time and spun a storyline for her to win because they hadnt a queen like her yet. She is talented, not my kinda talent but whatevs, to me shes the MACARONI ART of drag. She woulda been my friend first year of art school but then you have to change schools because you find out she has a crush thats a touch much on you and its weird because you thought you were just good friends. 28. Tyra Sanchez: In person I think Tyra might be the most beautiful of all the queens actually. You won't believe this but its true, she's a stunner. Too bad she just wants to be the best Beyonce, and not the best Tyra. Tyra, you be TYRA because Trinity K already does a waaaaaaaaay better Beyonce to be honest and youre actually so good on your own if you just owned YOURSELF youd be extraordinary. Its a shame she doesnt have the insight or desire to be HERSELF. Isnt that INSANE??? Its why nobody likes her, because SHE doesnt like her?! 27. Alexis Mateo: When you read her name do you also read it with a lisp? I do! Alexis is a sweet person whom I really appreciate and is also a victim of the pageant system. Pageant girls suffer from not fully grasping why the pageant system is bad. Ladies, we dont think YOU are bad, we think youre victims of a horrible oppressive system that wishes to put women into a structure of something like a DOG show. THIS IS DEGRADING NOT ONLY TO YOU BUT TO ALL FEMALES. It attempts to organize the female sex into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL based on the values of MEN and thats FUCKED UP. To organize females into ONE SINGULAR IDEAL is HORRIBLE and ROTTEN. It DEVALUES any ability that men might see as something THEY have to deal with and DENIES ABILITIES and STRENGTH to women creating an oppressive structure for females to operate in. Its GROSS, dont buy into it, its not cool! 26. Shannel: I know you dont agree but Shannel is important. Shannel wears VON DUTCH HATS. Shannels best friend is the WHISPERING FACE in the mirror that tells her to believe insane things. Shannel has THE BEST EYES of all contestants. Shannel belongs to a mentally ill race of people known as SHOW FOLK. Shannel thought JUGGLING while walking down the runway would be IMPRESSIVE. Shannel paid FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS for that garment and Shannel paid TOO MUCH. Shannel WAS NOT ELIMINATED... SHE CHOSE TO LEAVE!….. Shannel is important. OK the TOP TWENTY FIVE IS SERIOUS BUSINESS. These are the APEX PREDATORS!!! Have you noticed as the list has gone on the comments have gone from VENOMOUS and PUNISHING to RESPECTFUL ACCOLADE and thats because as the list goes the talent increases and Im grateful that these people are inspiring, not wasting my time, and are championing values that need to be championed! When I typed this I just got so excited I moved my ENTIRE BODY on top of my little clear desk chair and Im sitting here typing like a GARGOYLE! Every single one of these queens are a WINNER and I mean that. Im not just saying this shit, each one of these queens is a SOLID ARCHETYPE and depending on your own values you could place most of them in the top five and have a SOLID ARGUMENT. This list however is MY opinion and MY VALUES so this is much more about ME than THEM of course. Honestly every single queen on this entire list is a talent and deserves respect for making the effort!... yes even Phi-phi. To be in the top twenty five however means you can STAND YOUR GROUND AND OWN YOUR OWN CROWN. Remember this is MY list. Youll understand reading this list I value creativity and HEIGHT more than anything. Being fishy doesnt count for much to me and if youre dumb and dishonest it aint gonna work out…. Here are THE MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS OF RUPAULS DRAG RACE!!! 25. Jessica Wild: AHAHAHAHAHAH HAHAH How the FUCK did Jessica Wild make the top list?! FUCK YES MISS JESSICA you MADE IT!! Ahahah this is WONDERFUl. I secretly admit I LOVE Jessica. Ill go so far to say shes almost like a KINDER EN ESPAñOL version of Alyssa! Jessica live is FUN and shes VERY KIND. I met her and she was a doll. Jessica is GOOD VIBES. I can totally hang with Jessy. Is she creative? NOPE. Is she Edgy? NOPE. Is she fierce… actually she kinda is???!. Shes a good person who you can tell HONESTLY LOVES DRAG and has fun doing it and THAT is why she made top 25! Shes a pure soul who enjoys what she does and that its the SPIRIT and HONESTY rarely found on EARTH! 24. Max: Max CLEARLY is really into Kristen Mcnemany. Max served us upper middle class white privilege. She was NOT bound by the oppressive low class moral standards of gender and sexuality! Max allowed herself to be flat chested and have GREY hair and this says IM WEALTHY AND EDUCATED ENOUGH NOT TO HAVE TO PLAY BY A MANS RULES AND BE A BIMBO YOU POOR PEOPLE?! Max was well read and Max is probably the most well travelled person in the semi mid west sorta shitty small to medium sized city in which I imagine she is from NEXT TO HER SISTER that was in THE PEACE CORPS (I imagine). I bet Max went to a college that was previously ONLY FOR GIRLS. Off the show Max really gave some fantastic editorial moments. I appreciated Max, she was refreshing. 23. Naomi Smalls: The Praying Mantis of drag! Naomis skeleton is the best of all the girls and thats why shes here. TALL and THIN is SO IMPORTANT. She actually was a nice person and very creative too. I don't like how people discounted her, she was far more creative than most of these people. 22. Milk: Milk is kinda like Max but not as annoying as a person and more “boy aware". Like I imagine sitting on train with Max might be tedious as her affectations are what got her chopped, and Milk though shes a touch WASPY for my tastes is actually cool and smart and you could share and laugh with her. Milk was MY club name in the 90s so thats interesting as were both tall white people I guess that name just gets handed to you. Milk is sorta the Sandra Bernhardt of RPDR to me but maybe its just the STRONG NOSE. I liked Milks Pinnochio A LOT but if I remember correctly she used the same wig or a pair of shoes a few times and that DOES get a deduction. She was REAL "I have a mom who went to college and shes tall and for my birthday she bought me an AFGHAN (the dog)." . SMART WHITE PEOPLE LIFE… basically everyone I went to college with. 21. Joslyn Fox: Jossy Fox is not trying to be anything she isnt and that is her refreshing appeal. Jossy shops at Tj Maxx and has lunch at Panera because she used to work there and still gets a discount because her fag hag never left despite making a lot of lateral moves that took her nowhere. If I had kids Id hire Jossy to babysit them. Jossy asked to have my husband visit her at her dining table on the drag cruise, BUT NOT ME. 20. Willam: I really should have put Willam at a higher ranking place simply because shes a class act and one of the only queens whos never asked for a discount and buys my clothes. She is the one queen who decided to play by her own rules which sorta bit her in the ass ALMOST, but shes also one of the only queens who has her own career outside of RPDR. I like Willam, shes distant and calculating, but so am I. 19. Ongina: Ongina is important because shes the first one to show that to be successful on the show its not about your elaborately constructed artifice that you might THINK is what makes people like you, but about the REAL YOU you fear to show others that is what makes people like you and this TEENY BEING had the balls to do it. Ongina is all about the live performance as shes a total charmer. She can dance in the palm of your hand and sleeps in a walnut shell at night. Her charm is her human connection that you dont get from most performers and you can't really get from TV. 18. Manila Luzon: Manilla gives the best costumes in drag styling. Her puppet faces are great, but ONE TIME USE, so shes a little for the kiddies and straight people who only see her once and dont follow drag so thats why she isnt higher for me. Remember if youre top 25 youre iconic! Im just organizing MY VALUES here so its not about these queens abilities but more about MY PERSONAL AGENDA and how I would ORGANIZE WORLD VALUES should I be given the chance…. (echoing Skeletor laugh) 17. Latrice Royale: Latrice is the spirit of America. If you dont like Latrice YOU ARE ISIS. Watch her performance at the season finale where Violet wins, its sooo darn good. Id love to put her farther up but I cant because she only wears THE SAME PAIR OF SHOES with every look. Lady… lay out some coins stop “living poor”. The moment you spend the dough to move yourself forward YOU ACTUALLY MOVE FORWARD. Stop living in a world where you cant afford shoes, break out of that mindset where youre worried to spend a little cash because you might not have it. LIVE RICHLY…YOU CAN AFFORD SHOES. That said remember CREDIT IS NOT CASH BITCH, do NOT use a credit card pretend you have the fantasy of the security of wealth, but I KNOW you at least have 49.99 for a plus size pair of PLEASERS! 16. Katya. The first time I saw Katya I thought TOTAL FORMER COKE HEAD... and I was right. Thats not a read its just the vibes. I think shes very smart and funny and her finale “read ya” was the best of al of them BUT she got a TOTAL SWEETHEART EDIT BECAUSE ALASKA WAS SLAUGHTERING EVERYONE so they needed to make it seem at least a LITTLE like a competition (though detox was like on another level) but I REALLY dont like that FORCED self deprecation and FAKE NICE LAUGH she gives people ESPECIALLY Trixie.. Stop GIFTING her that reaction, we all see right through it! It comes off like less of a laugh and more of an APOLOGY for existing and you dont need to do it youre fierce, just stop. Before you get too big a head though I have to be a good person and let you know your finale look on All Stars was the THIRD worst look ever to go down the runway behind Serena and Cynthia. Don't believe me???.. check out the hemline. 15 Jujubee: Out of all the queens I think if I had to spend an extended period of time with them Id choose Juju. Shes smart and funny and hopefully that would give me the opportunity to teach her about STYLING because she needs some help. Damn your looks are CHEAP woman. They sell Vogue at the GROCERY STORE!? Im not even asking for the far superior Italian Vogue, Im just saying SHITTY COMMERCIAL GROCERY STORE FASHION MAGAZINE VOGUE. Pick it up and then look at your clothes and figure out the difference. I actually think Juju might be the funniest queen even over Bianca. Shes certainly one of the smartest, and dont forget her library reading was really good. 14. Trinity K. Bonet: I imagine youre suprised at Trinity ranking so high up. Trinity is something I respect.. QUIET CONFIDENCE. Trinity was too damn well mannered to get as far as she should have in the competition and the reason why is Trinity K is the personality type I really respect who is someone who is QUIET and TALENTED. She lets her talents do the talking and unfortunately for good tv you cant just sit there and wait to slay on the runway, you have to have provide soundbytes and dramtic facial gestures for gifs etc. Trinity respectfully minded her own damn business and let her abilities do the talking and I REALLY like that. I went on that nightmarish drag cruise and hands down the best performance was Trinity it was about a ten minute Beyonce number and it was BETTER than Beyonce. It was FANTASTIC and im not even a Beyonce fan. I also think shes very beautiful and has a total Angela Basset quality to her which Im charmed by. Trinity was well mannered and polite and I kinda wanted to be her friend because someone like that benefits from someone like me who isnt afraid to maybe NOT be so polite should the rare occasion call for it. I guess Bianca kinda saw that too. I kinda think for some weird reason Im sweet on her because Tina Turner was my first concert at 8 years old, which I won the tickets to answering Tina Turner Triva on the radio, and that remeinds me of my mom who I went to the concert with and so therefor I want to protect this “good woman”. 13. Nina Flowers: Speaking of good women the next is Nina Flowers. I have NEVER heard ONE person say ONE bad thing about Nina and the multiple times Ive met her she is KIND AND LOVELY. Nina endured that entire CONFLAMA of SEASON 1 and DIDNT EVEN GET THE PALTRY 10k she deserved?! THEN Nina got CURSED with being paired with RAVING MAD WOMAN TAMMIE BROWN and ROLLED WITH IT without complaint. In fact if you watch All Stars 1 instead of complaining Nina handles her like a loving mother who has a RETARDED CHILD who YELLS A LOT. Speaking of YELLING RETARDED PEOPLE one time my husband and I were in Miami and we bought BAD PILLS (is there any other kind in Miami) and were TWACKED OUT ASSHOLES and ran into her and we COULD NOT SHUT THE FUCK UP and she was SO TOLERANT, AND SO NICE, AND SO UNBOTHERED that we almost wondered if we PASSED FOR SANE. Looking back WE DID NOT, Nina was just really nice. Nina is also a great Dj who really gets that CUNT FACTOR and makes for a great night out. 12 Miss Fame: Drag being an art form that relies so heavily on the magic of transformation being the best make up artist of all the queens certainly gets you TOP THREE placement. Too bad Miss Fame is the SECOND BEST MAKE UP ARTIST of Rupauls drag race. If this was a BIOLOGICAL female make-up challenge Fame would be the best, but DRAG MAKE UP is a VERY different art form. Fame had fantastic looks and a greatly appreciate her. I just wish the brains matched the visuals because theyre SO sharp. She really is the Linda of RPDR. Linda was my SECOND choice of the Supermodels, my first was Nadja so you can see where Im coming from. To me alien proportions and snowgress fantasies trump “classic fashion perfection”. 11. Chi Chi DeVayne : Chi Chi Devayne is THE SPIRIT OF DRAG. Chi chi is POOR AS FUCK and still managed to teach herself how to do BACKFLIPS IN HEELS. THERE IS NO REASON FOR ALL OF US NOT TO BE ABLE TO DO THE SAME BUT WE CANNOT! She is THE DRAG ASSASSIN. I respect her SO much. Imagine if she was given the same opportunities any of us in the North East of the United States were given?! When I was a little kid I wasnt rich either but I feel in North Eastern America you can receive a great education and you dont have to be wealthy at all. A good education is just kind of built into the psyche just like our PURITANICAL JUDGEMENT. I mean as a kid I grew up in a tiny single parent home next to a pond and it certainly wasnt GLAMOROUS but if I felt like it my 8 year old self could wander over to the neighbors house which was basically THE ADDAMS FAMILY MANSION to me which belonged to the professor who established the local community college and Id just sit there in his living room while he and his wife watched JULIA CHILD Id point at the random objects hed collected from around the world and ask “Whats that?!” and hed reply “That is a TURKISH BULLWHIP!” FIERCE?! ..with that information alone not only did I learn of exotic locations I never heard of I knew I TOO wanted to go there AND had the ability too. Something tells me being from Louisianna Chi Chi didnt have the opportunity to learn how to cook LONDON BROIL (I still remember Julia saying “Ooh this roast is SPITTING at me) while sitting in the dark at a baby grand piano while a Grandfather clock gonged in the background like these people did. It would be VERY EASY to be an angry bitter person coming from her situation and instead Chi Chi took it upon herself to excel to the best of her abilities and BOY HAS SHE. I feel Chi Chi was THE BEST when it came to Lipsynch for your life. All she needs is 12 months, a handful of those McDonalds gift certificates you got at Halloween, a stack of VHS tapes of STYLE with ELSA KLENSCH, 6 National Geographic magazines, and everyone dies. Chi Chi is FIERCE. 10 Chad Michaels: Being the number one Cher impersonator in the world gets you top ten placement forever. Its not debatable its DRAG LAW. 9.Tammie Brown: Tammie Brown is an UNCONTROLLABLE FORCE OF NATURE. Tammy is the SWIRLING POWER OF CHAOS. GRAVITY DECIDES TO LEAVE WHEN TAMMIE IS AROUND! Tammies superpower is that she holds no power unto her own but EVERYONE ELSES POWERS ARE RENDERED USELESS WHEN SHE WALKS IN THE ROOM. NO QUEEN has any power over Tammie and for THAT ALONE she gets top ten placement. Have you ever seen those crazy cat videos of cats reacting to people who throw a cucumber on the ground? If you havent, check them out, but in a nut shell cats are for some reason TOTALLY FREAKED OUT by a cucumber sitting on the ground. They go from acting relatively sane to COMPLETELY BIZARRE at the toss of a cucumber... well TAMMY IS THAT CUCUMBER. 8. Bianca Del Rio: Bianca is a hard working professional and a talent and Im glad we have her on “our” side as I cant think of any straight comedian who could beat her in a "read off". She doesnt particularly check any of my boxes as what she is Im not super into but you cant deny her abilities. Shes the sharpest tack. My friend Bradford hired her for a dinner and it was fine and fun and all and as she was walking out the door my NUMB NUT husband brings up “but what about the movie youre making?” this of course lead her to go on about how shes raising money etc so then BRADFORD THE ASSHOLE makes everyone say how much theyre going to donate to her film putting me on the spot to donate 500 dollars to the fucking crappy movie?! It was well shot but UGH LADY wheres the funny? I paid FIVE HUNDRED GOD DAMN DOLLARS FOR THAT MOVIE?!?! FIVE HUNDRED DOLLARS….. FUCK.... thats TWO tickets to see CHER?!?!?!? 7.Sharon Needles: When Sharon first came out I BOUGHT IT, literally, I bought the t shirt which was secrelty packed as a GLITTER BOMB.. FUCKING CUNT…She really gave us hope and spoke to so many and was a creative and funny star. Shes a great talent who has done some amazing looks. Unfortunately shes become super sour and nasty and nobody wants to work with her and former fans are made uncomfortable to be around her. Sharon Needles is THE BEST DRAG QUEEN nobody wants to be around. 6. Violet Chachki: Im pretty sure Violet was trained by a SITH LORD or something. Shes CURIOUSLY YOUNG to be so professional and SO on point and just soooo good. God I hated the idiot RPDR fan base who talked shit about her simply because they couldnt relate to her because she was confident in her abilities. A wolf does NOT consult the sheep as to what to have for dinner!?! Im sorry but thats NOT something to make apologies for and its CERTAINLY not something you need to change. Nobody should have to dumb themselves down for the masses and Violet has not. She consistently DOMINATES THEM with her BITCH GODDESS self and Im SOOOO THANKFUL FOR THAT. This icy goddess holds the title for the number one AND number two AND number three best gowns on RPDR history. Dont go against Violet you WILL loose. 5. Alaska: Alaska broke all the rules by being HER OWN CREATURE. You cant pin down Alaska as one specific thing. Shes is an entity unto her own and that is so important to recognize. Shes also maybe the smartest queen of all of them. Her drag is a critique of drag itself which makes her a more evolved creature compared to “lesser” queens. Like all these top five shes really carved out PERSONALITY in her drag persona. Shes maybe made me laugh more than any other queen.The only “negative” I can think of is I dont like her interest in nails, seems like something India Ferra would be into. Its sorta weird that she named herself Alaska when the biggest gay icon in Spain and many other Spanish speaking nations is Alaska but shes from Pittsburg, not Madrid. 4. Alyssa Edwards: Oh fuck is Alyssa Edwards important! The DON KNOTSS of Drag Alyssa is sorta just like Texas from which she hails… BIG AND WEIRD THINKING AND despite being the essence of AMERICA its also ITS OWN ENTITY and by its own design is flawless and also VERY FLAWED! Remember when ALyssa first started and she was mean and people did not like her?! This is important to recognize because Alyssa HOOKED US with a very special chemistry of herself as a real person and this SWIRLY KOOKOO TOWN that her psyche exists in where shes the MAYOR, THE RICHEST LADY, THE NOSEY NEIGHBOR, AND THE BEAUTY QUEEN! Shes all those things and we get to see them all exist in every gesture. The gif of her negotiating a sip on an extra long straw was just as responsible for us falling in love with her as was her UNSELFAWARNESS (is that a word?) upon the HARD REVEAL of her BACKROLLS. Those lips and eyes are insanely MAGNETIC but all of it would be only half as magnetic if we didnt know what a LOOSEY GOOSEY she is?! You KNOW that Alyssa PERFORMS FOR NOBODY when shes by herself…. OFTEN. Alyssa I think is the only queen Ive ever hired and she got out of a cab by herself in FULL DRAG wearing like a TEDDY and a SHEER DRESSING GOWN and walked down the street in broad daylight asking my assistant if the MEXICAN RESTAURANT ON THE CORNER was where she was PERFORMING?!?! Alyssas personal styling is: “Dress, not particularly expensive shoe, AND PIECE OF THING ON HER HEAD- but NOT a complete thing on her head just a PART of something on her head! Its the VAGUE ALLUSION that this is part of MAYBE SOMETHING GREATER, or maybe shes been to SPAIN, or maybe she shoplifts at CLAIRES BOUTIQUE?! Alyssa is an America treasure! 3. Raven: Raven is JEALOUS BEAUTY. RAVEN IS EVERY FIERCE VILLAINESS THAT EVER EXISTED. Raven VERY EASILY could be my number one BUT IM LEARNING TO LOVE MYSELF and Im not going to SIT HERE and WAIT to be loved by someone I adore as they DENY MY EXISTENCE simply because THEY THEMSELVES are incapable of being loved. I already DID THAT SHOW its called ME AND MY DAD and thanks but over a lifetime as a child I sat there on the couch waiting for him to show up, which he often DID NOT, as I hoped that MAGICALLY ONE DAY this person you adore is suddenly going to take interest in you. GUESS WHAT… IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN!!! I might love Raven but RAVEN CANT LOVE BACK and instead of being MAD (like I was for a lifetime with my own dad) Im going to recognize that I dont hate this person at all, in fact this VILLAIN is a HERO to me and though I wish theyd be capable of liking me back theyre NOT and THATS OK. Im not the bad guy for that, and neither is Raven, and neither is my dad. Its something they cant do and MAYBE someday they will and if so THATS GREAT but until then Im gonna love myself and put interest in people who reciprocate my feelings.This all may sound like I had some kind of ACTUAL relationsship with Raven WHICH I HAVE NOT but Ravens entire DRAG CONCEPT HER VERY DRAG BEING is that story line to me. The even more twisted part is we love Raven BECAUSE shes cruel?!?! I think shes TREMENDOUS! Raven is THE EVIL QUEEN from Snow White, shes Alexis from Dynasty, shes Katra from She-ra. Raven IS jealous beauty. Raven is a cruel and powerful goddess and I LIVE for her. We have tried SO MANY times to hire her and it falls on dead ears. Shes cannot be bothered. She needs to GET BOTHERED because the reason why shes not an All Star is because she cant be. I mean I think its really because shes had a couple DUIs and theres no way a liquor company was gonna give 100k to a person who has 2 DUIS but you know what I mean.... Raven is also THE BEST DRAG MAKEUP ARTIST. All these future queens stand on Ravens trompe l’oeil bone structure. Ravens one word comments on fashion photo Ruview make me HOWL. Ravens astute observations are as sharp as her nose contour. Raven has the teeniest room for evolution spiritually I think JUST A TEENY BIT, like DONT CHANGE, but MAYBE get a LITTLE kind and Raven will be my number one and OH GOD I want her to be number one SO BAD. 2. Raja. Ok, now Im back to sitting on my tiny clear desk chair like a Gargoyle because its THE TWO MOST IMPORTANT QUEENS?!!?!? VERY SIMPLY without Raja Rupauls Drag Race would be MEXICAN TELEVISION! The show would be an FAR less elevated and be a GOOPEY SUNDAE of WIGS AND BOOBS AND WELL WORN DRESSES THAT SMELL LIKE B.O and ANGEL! Raja brings in references that lift the entire competition UP. Alyssa is Cosmopolitan but Raja is ITALIAN VOGUE AND NATIONAL GEOGRAPHIC. Shes still the best runway walker of all the queens which is like MORE IMPORTANT THAN ANYTHING. In her single season she gave us gold robot, amazon tribes person, Marie Antoinette, and when she walked in first episode it was the most obvious time someone was CLEARLY the winner from MINUTE ONE. Raja is the PUBLIC TELEVISION OF DRAG RACE! A FUNDAMENTAL NECESSITY to the CLASS LEVEL of Rupauls Drag Race and without her the floor would drop out. LETS IMAGINE AN AFRICAN WATERING HOLE with baboons squeeling, zebras making their weirdo sounds that you would never expect to come from a horse, hippos eating, hyenas laughing and all of a sudden the GIRAFFE enters the scene and everyone SHUTS UP AND STARES… Well RAJA IS THAT GIRAFFE... and yes Shangela and Yarra Sofia are the babbons. We need LESS BABOONS and MORE GIRAFFES. If I HAD to make a negative critque Id say Id just like to see LESS POT and WINE references on her facebook page because when I read that I think she might be mildly depressed and I dont want that from this creative talent whom I adore! 1. Detox. DETOX IS CHARISMA. Detox IS the MUGLER woman. Thierry Mugler is what saved me in college. Mugler is clearly what has saved Detox as well. The first time I saw Thierry Muglers work was at a newsstand in VALENCIA CALIFORNIA at CalArts and his robot suit was on the cover of STERN magazine and I grabbed it, and some suburban TWAT MOM shot me side eye because the robot suit shows nipple and of course she disapproved that because she was JUDGEY UNTRAVELED TRASH. I looked inside at his work and I thought I WANT TO BE WHERE THESE PEOPLE EXIST?!?!? I actually brought the magazine to my mentor and said "I NEED TO BE HERE." Well Detox takes me to that place! I can relate to Detox. Were really similar in many ways, both of us have tried to manefest that Mugler construct as best as possible and through ANY means necessary. If Raven is the Evil Queen from Disneys Snow White, Detox is Maleficent! Both are SO MAJOR how do you pick?! Well I will tell you how! Remember how in my Raven rant I was saying I was going to learn to love myself well putting Detox first is learning to love myself! Why?! Because Detox is the EVIL QUEEN who MAKES GOOD. When Alvaro offered to pay both Detox and Raven to send me a little happy 40th birthday message Raven didnt respond, and DETOX DID and REFUSED TO TAKE MONEY. You know when Skeletor feels the spirit of Christmas in the Heman Christmas special?? Well SKELETOR DETOX. Shes the VILLAIN we all love with A HEART thats open to be loved. Detox is the DAD WHO SHOWS UP. Detox takes great measures to embody the values that mean so much to me. Its actually HARD to be this GOOD. She is SOFT AS NAILS but you still wanna FUCK HER?! She had TREMENDOUS sex appeal without being soft, amazing style without being trend driven, and shes a bitch goddess without being bitter. Detox is number one, Detox is the good mommy.